Methadone - a typical day ...

When I get up in the morning, I don’t grab a coffee.  I go to the fridge for my 100 ml bottle of methadone. After that my day is just like yours. But I wasn’t always like this. 

Life was a lot harder, a lot rougher.  Every morning I would be sick as a dog.  I’d crush up a couple of 8mg Dilaudid tablets and boil them in a spoon, then I’d fill a syringe. Tie my arm off and plunge the cure into my arm.  And then I was good for … 3 or 4 hours.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  I couldn’t work. 

Dilaudid is illegal unless your doctor gives you a prescription. With a few phone calls you can get them for about $20 each.  I used at least 10 a day.  10 to keep the sickness at bay, 10 to 20 more.  I can’t count how many days I’ve lost to the sickness, how many times I’ve been to the treatment center.  And a waste of time that was.  They’d give you 2 or 3 mild sedatives a day for 3 days and then try to put you in god’s hands.  It didn’t work – after the week, or 2, or 3, was over, I could suffer no longer.  Straight to the dealer.  It doesn’t help to tell me “everythings gonna be all right.  You’ll feel better tomorrow”.  Anybody who says / tells you that doesn’t know what this drug is about (why I take it).

But I had always heard about the mainland, where they gave you this drug, methadone, that took away the suffering and made you feel normal, not high, just normal, like I used to be … yeah, like it used to be, I miss those days.

I did the drugs for 5 or 6 years, but and I sat by and watched, as friends and acquaintances died one after another, month by month, because they couldn’t get the help they needed.  I’m sure the doctor (at Detox) noticed too, but it didn’t matter [since] we are / they were expendable.  But I couldn’t stop.  I couldn’t handle the sickness.  The detox couldn’t help.  They didn’t have a clue.  They would have nothing to do with methadone (methadone is addictive).  You have to take it every dad or you get sick just like with the drugs, but it’s prescribed to you, you can have ready access to it.  You never have to be sick again, you don’t get high on it, but you can live an ordinary life, like anyone else.

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