I take one or two naps and then I can’t sleep till 3 or 4 in the morning but what’s a guy to do. 

Spoke to Jellybelly today.  No action there.  It’s all up to Anne now, which doesn’t mean much.  If it can’t be worked out by tomorrow, I may as well just give up and focus on getting into the Detox program in February, that’s not too far away now.  Only 40 days, or 68 if that doesn’t work out.

 

January 2

Sunday.  Tomorrow’s a holiday and then all is back to normal.  I had some papers to read so it wasn’t a bad day, except for my visit.  Mum and dad came in whining that they didn’t (and won’t) take my letter to the newspaper and about the complaint I have against the nurse.  I refuse to drop it and I told them not to come back.  Dad even accused me of being on drugs. [he was right!]  I don’t think I’ll ever have a good relationship with my parents.  Just wait till I tell them I’m going to sell drugs again.  I haven’t decided yet but I might even take their names off my visiting list.  I just don’t look forward to getting visits from them.  They’re always so critical of me.  I get enough shit from the administration here.  I just don’t need any more from them.  Life’s too short for that, as dad would say.

… Mark found out from Debra L. that Jason did indeed rip him off last week.  What a fucking bastard.  There were 20 pills and he gave Mark about 8, all crushed up (so he couldn’t count them).  The good news is that something came in for me.  I hope to have it tomorrow.  It’s small but it’ll make me happy.  I think tomorrows gonna be a good day …

 

January 3

66 days left.  I can feel my freedom getting closer.  Today I slept till about three o’clock which made the day go by well.  I may have to try that more often … my package didn’t arrive yet but I can wait another day or two, its been so long now.  And, I believe there’s more in the works.  This might be a good month as long as [Counselor] leaves me alone …

Church, I found especially boring tonight, I guess because there wasn’t many there.  I was speaking with Dennis (he’s looking for work) but Mike wasn’t there.  I wanted to tell him not to give anything to Jason ‘cause we don’t trust the bastard …

breakfast was optional this morning but they didn’t tell us that until they got us all out of bed!  Infidels!  I’m trying to start a diet cause I’m just way too fat and I want to be able to fit into my jeans when I get out of here.  If we didn’t have to go to all the meals, it would be a lot easier.

 

January 4

Yeah!  The long awaited D’s [Dilaudid] finally arrived!  Only two of them but I felt so good.  So good.  How I’ve missed that feeling.  To be king of the world again.  I was supposed to get 5 P’s [percocet - Oxycontin] as well but I don’t know what happened to them.  But I was elated just to get the D’s.  And Ian tells me he may have some good news for Thursday. 

Jason and I got in an argument.  I didn’t let on to him that I had anything but Whip kept dropping hints.  I was getting even with Jason for not sharing his pills with us.  But I went and talked to him and smoothed things over, because I’m basically a nice guy.  He apologized for what he did and I told him it’s all forgotten.  I wish we had enough that everybody could get some and we could all enjoy ourselves.  It’s a good unit we have here and it’s good to see everyone getting along good.  If I could feel this good everyday it would be a breeze to do time here.  Oh, how I wish …

Jr., the screwdriver killer got life 15 today, so I’m definitely the grandfather now.  I guess he’s pretty fucked up anyway but what a waste of his life, he’s only 21 and he can’t handle doing time here, so I don’t think he’s gonna make it in the pen.  Moe is getting sentenced tomorrow too, so he’ll probably be going along too.  I was hoping to meet up with Moe on the street sometime, not in here again.  I’m down to 68 days now and if things get done for us on the street, I’ll be out before I know it.  I know that today was one of the best days I’ve had in here – hope there’s more to come like it …

I’ve been trying to get in touch with Paul M. [Summerside Detox] to see if he can pull some strings to get me into the program in February.  If that can be arranged, I’ll only have 33 days until it starts, that would be cool …

I’m going to have to ask Mark about helping me with the French, maybe an hour a day  … I broke out the last pack of duMaurier.  This was the occasion I was waiting for … I hope they don’t try and move me down to medium (although I would like to go to … [not legible, clearly written under the influence of the Dilaudid he mentioned earlier])  Really though, I’m quite comfortable where I am …

I’ve heard that the set of twins [?] I got for [Pauline] for Christmas might have a flaw in it that would increase its value by 300.  Hope that’s true.

 

January 5

Finished off my d’s [Dilaudid] today – 2 hits.  I love that stuff.  It makes me feel so relaxed and peaceful.  If only I had a steady supply.  Hope to get some news on that tomorrow.  The p’s [Percocet - Oxycontin] just weren’t there to be found.  I don’t know what happened there.  Maybe we’ll find that out tomorrow too …

I got new French stuff from John but it looks pretty complicated.  I’m going to have to get Mark to help me out …

Moe got 2 years today.  It still amazes me how quick these things can happen.  A week ago, he woke up in jail and didn’t know why he was there and today he’s on his way to Springhill.  Moe’s a fairly smart guy; too bad he couldn’t get his life together. 

Layton M. came in today – 22 months.  I would say that much time was unnecessary.  Just knowing that you were responsible for your best friends death is severe enough punishment …

I went to the gym and  played 3 games of snooker with Mark.  Lost all three, although, I put up a bit of a fight on the last one. … tomorrow’s visiting day.  I hope someone is good to us.  We could sure use it.  I’ve only got 9 weeks left now and it’s going quickly.  Can’t wait to get out and get back to business and order a pizza too.  That would be nice.

 

January 6

Another dull day.  It was so cold in the unit that I stayed in my room most of the day (it’s warmer upstairs).  Jean called this morning about going over the separation agreement.  I’m going to set up an appointment for next week … I got some new French stuff.  It looks to be a lot more difficult.

… Ian and Debra L. didn’t meet up.  I wish they could just get this done and get it over with.  It shouldn’t be this difficult.  Anne is being such a bitch.  Well, nine weeks left.  Maybe less (sort of) if Paul M. [Summerside Detox] can pull some strings for me.

January 7

Paul M. [Summerside Detox] was here this morning.  All he can do is tell them I’m accepted for the February program and that there is no program in March.  Then it’s up to [Counselor] and [Supervisor] so I doubt that I’ll be going anywhere. Bastards!  Infidels! 

The staff caught on to the bathroom drop off so its gonna be dry around here.  I think if Jason hadn’t known about it then it wouldn’t have gotten fucked up.  He’s a heatbag.  Now that there’s nothing here maybe he’ll go to medium and we can figure something else out. 

I’ve only got 2 months left anyway and I can handle that without drugs but it would have made the time go faster.  I did hear today that my friend got my package so I can wait till I get out if necessary.  A script of serax would be nice though ‘cause they wouldn’t affect my piss tests …

Neil got taken over to Moncton for another court appearance on Monday.  It’s gonna be a long weekend for him.  I think it’s gonna be a long here too cause today felt like a Saturday.  Please let these next two months go by quickly.

 

January 8

A very boring day.  It’s too cold in here to stay downstairs and watch t.v.  too cold to sit down there for anything so I just slept all day. … I couldn’t get Ian on the visiting list for tomorrow, cause [Guard1] was the CO3.  Asshole!  I kinda wish I had someone to come and visit me, just something to look forward to …

 

January 9

I slept till 4 o’clock and then I read the four newspapers I have saved up for today.  I couldn’t get Ian on the visiting list cause [Guard1] was working again but the weather wasn’t good anyway, so maybe next week.  It was a very uneventful day and I’m glad the weekend is over.  I now have 59 days left.

 

January 10

I got a letter from the Supreme Court today.  They say my application is unacceptable because I didn’t follow the proper procedures outlined in “Rules of Court”, so I called Ken G. and he suggested (he’s been very helpful) that I could buy a copy of Rules of Court at 115.00 (nope) or ask the jail to take me to the Law Library.  So I asked [Counselor] about that (actually Dave D. asked for me because she doesn’t talk to me anymore).  She said no way – write to them.  I also asked if I could call Human Rights and got the same answer.  So I wrote letters to Human Rights, and Kenneth MacDonald, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court to ask for advice.  I don’t think [Counselor] should be allowed to prevent me from going to the Law Library.  The more I think about her, the more I realize she doesn’t have a clue what to do around here.  I am hoping that I can act as my own lawyer and therefore, presumably, they would have to give me access to the legal documents I require. I suppose that the most obvious result of this is that I will be denied a t.a. for the Detox. I think that [Counselor] is treading dangerously close to a lawsuit, I really hope so … 

I also got a possible connection for some Atavan today which I will have to explore tomorrow. …

Neil got back from Moncton today. It’s quite a dump over there he says.  I guess we take this place for granted.  It’s pretty good really for a jail but the administration is all fucked up.  I guess it’s up to me to bring that to the publics attention as soon as I can get the chance … I’m having a lot of trouble sleeping lately.  Last night I was up till 4:30. I couldn’t sleep so I finished the last 450 pages in the book that I was reading, “Total Control” [by David Baldacci].  I haven’t napped today so I may sleep better.  A few valium sure would fix things though.

 

January 11

Today I wrote a letter to the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.  I forwarded it to Ken G. to mail it for me.  I did this because Sput said that, for me, when a letter goes out it has to go by [Counselor] first, so this way I can send the letter myself and the bitch can’t read it. Ha ha.

… I got a package from home.  My mother found info on Avionics jobs on PEI, so that’s something that I can look into.  She also said that Technical Writing is available via internet from Seneca, that’s interesting.  She sent a few pictures of [Janine] and the kids too.  I still kinda like [Janine] but there’s no turning back now ...

I had a meeting with the Minister this afternoon to try and get a [cross ?] (to piss off [Guard1]) and to try to enlist his help in getting a t.a. for treatment.  I think I’ve won him over but ultimately the decision is up to [Counselor] and [Supervisor] and they both hate me, so I’m prepared to be disappointed … I spoke to Dennis’s aunt and she had nothing left.  She seems like a stupid creature.  I also spoke to Ian and he only got 10 for me, was kinda disappointed there.  I [was] expecting there to be a lot more.  So much work for so little payoff, but hopefully something will work out for the weekend.

Reg also wrote a letter to the New Brunswick Ombudsman on this day - click here to read it.

 

January 12

Went to see the doctor this morning.  Weighed myself.  190 pounds.  I’m really getting fat.  This is getting serious.  Must give up desserts.  I think also if I didn’t have to go to breakfast this wouldn’t have gone this far.  I never eat breakfast on the outside and I’ve never been this fat …

spoke to Anne today.  She told me she had 35 but Ian only took ten. Was supposed to come back for the rest.  Didn’t.  Drank all my money.  Fucking prick.  … [Janine] was in to discuss the separation agreement.  We don’t see eye to eye, it seems.  She wants sole custody, full control and supervised visits for the kids.  I don’t believe the argument should be that restrictive for I have not and never would abuse the kids.  I think there’s a lot of changes to make to the document before I’ll sign my name to it.

I got strip searched by Chris, the newfie suck-up fag.  That pissed me off.  I always get pissed off about getting strip searched.  Fucking pricks … I asked [Janine] to bring the kids in next time.  She tentatively agreed.  I just don’t want or need the stress of dealing with my parents anymore.  I’ve had enough of being told what to do.  I don’t even want to spend a weekend there when I get out.

 

January 13

I just watched a show about Thin Lizzy.  I’ve been looking forward to that all week. I was worried that the other guys would whine but they were ok with it.  I love Thin Lizzy, they were good.

… I worked out something with [Janine] to get my fifty bucks back – buy some goodies with it.  I’ll be glad to get that off my mind. …

The doctor told me yesterday that he’d give me a new sleeping pill but what I got tonight was Amytriptamine.  I don’t think they’re any good.  Maybe I should just have just left things as they were.  Guess I’ll find out tonight …

Anyway, I’m down to 8 weeks today. Still waiting to make the front page of the remission sheet though.  I’m thinking about calling Motor Vehicles tomorrow to see if they still want me to take the program if I can’t get a t.a.  its going to fuck things up.  I need my license back as soon as I get out of here.  I can’t handle getting stuck out in Souris with no car.

 

January 14

Its Friday, the beginning of my eighth last weekend … had a weird sleep last night.  The doctor gave me a new pill, amytriptaline, and it felt like I was in a trance all night, neither awake nor asleep.  I’m getting off that shit as soon as I can – it’s bug juice …

I met with Sandy.  We still haven’t started the IQ test.  He says he’s been busy so we just talked for a while.  He said my mother called up and asked if I was brain damaged.  I’m really getting fed up with her interference.  I don’t want them trying to run my life and I’m not going to put up with it.  I’m sure now that I could never live at their house again, but things are so complicated because the kids are in Souris.

… Sandy told me that my name was mentioned at the staff meeting this morning, about T.A.’s but not much was said.  I’m tempted to say ‘fuck it’ if they insist on moving me to medium first.  But I’m not sure what to do.  I called Audrey M. at Motor Vehicles and she says that the accident in Montague is still on my driving record and, as of now, they still want me to take the course.  But she said we could meet and discuss it if I’m unable to take the program in February.  There’s always hope, I guess. I just hope this next eight weeks passes quickly and I can put all this behind me.

 

January 15

Another day gone, another day closer to getting out … Mark didn’t get his visit today.  He always leaves it till the last minute and, consequently, it always gets delayed. … anyway, I’m having second thoughts about doing any opiates  ‘cause I’ll be getting a piss test soon if they’re considering me for that program.  I’d hate to fuck that up again. …

I figure now that I shouldn’t have to go to medium to get a t.a. because the t.a. will be from Summerside jail, so it shouldn’t matter what unit I’m in here, at least that’s the way I see it ….

 

January 16

Glad this weekend is over.  It kinda dragged on … I guess Mark’s friend won’t do us a favor so there’ll be nothing happening this week.  The bright side of that is that I’m ok for a piss test. I’ll have to look into getting the t.a. this week. …

I asked the nurse to take me off the amytriptaline.  It was giving me weird dreams.  I think its bug juice.  She gave me an extra red tonight but I don’t know if I’ll sleep because I slept a lot today.  That’s the best way I know of for passing the time – get as much sleep in as you can.

 

January 17

Some bad but not suprising news today.  [Counselor] won’t give me a t.a. for treatment.  I expected this but the way she handled it pissed me off.  She didn’t tell me, she just told one of the guards to tell me.  So I put in a request to see [Supervisor] and then [Counselor] came down and she and I argued.  I hate the bitch.  I told her to get some therapy.  Fuck, I hate her.  But what am I to do? …

I was at the library to study my French but the new book is hard.  They talk too fast.  Tomorrow a girl from UPEI is coming in to help me.  I’m kinda looking forward to that.  I hope she’s good looking … I found a book of crossword puzzles in the library and brought it back to the unit with me … 

I called Ian and he says things are going well.  Not sure about the visit tomorrow but I hope everything works out.

… I asked the nurse to put me back on the amytriptaline until the doctor comes in.  last night I was awake till five o’clock.  I’ll put up with the bad dreams rather than lay awake all night …

Now that I know I won’t get a t.a. I guess I don’t have to worry about going to medium.  I’ll finish my time here.  Hopefully when I get out, I can talk Motor Vehicles out of making me take the rehab course.  If not, I don’t know what I’ll do.  I can’t be in Souris with no car.  I’ll just have to hope that things work themselves out somehow.

 

January 18

Couldn’t sleep again last night.  I hope the doctor can give me something that works when I see him tomorrow …

The French girl was in to help me out today.  She’s not at all attractive but she knows her French.  I realize that I have a long way to go to speak the language.  I can decipher written French but it’s hard for me to carry on even a simple conversation …

The Nurses Association called here today and she spoke to all the other guys in the unit who I listed as witnesses.  They all backed me up, as they should. I’m looking forward to this hearing.  I’ll be so happy if she loses her job …

Jason was planning to go to Summerside next week but they listened in on one of his phone calls and heard his friend say, “that’s taken care of”, so he’s getting fucked around.  It doesn’t take much in this place. 

Lorrie and Neil go on and on about their cases all the time.  I’m getting tired of listening to them.  They both think they’re getting off but I’m not so sure.  From listening to them though, I see that I could have beaten my charges with a better lawyer.  Oh well, not much I can do about that now. 

Tomorrow, I’m down to 50 days so my time here’s getting short.  Yabba-dabba-doo.

January 19

I couldn’t sleep last night so I saw the doctor this morning.  He’s putting me on the immovane which, I gather, is quite strong.  But I hope its not bug juice.  I just need something for insomnia. …

We’ve got a new casework supervisor (another female, from the kiddie jail).  She was here this morning so I yelled out the hatch, “does this mean [Counselor] is getting fired?”  Later [Counselor] came around and stuck her head in the door, and said “not only am I not getting fired, I got promoted.  I’ll be training the new casework supervisor”.  She had a big smile on her face so I let her go without saying anything.  At least I shouldn’t have to deal with her.  I’ll continue my battle from the outside after I get out …

A new worry popped into my head today.  I’m going to ask welfare to get me a room after I’m out, but sometimes they tell people that they have to have treatment for addiction before they give out any money.  I don’t want to hear that.  No more bullshit please. …

I got a letter back from Human Rights, again they say they can’t get involved in jail policy.  I hope I get a response from my letter to the Supreme Court soon …

[nurse1] is being really nice to me lately.  She probably thinks she can win me over before the disciplinary hearing, she’s such a hollow bitch.  But now I hold a bit of power over her, ha ha … Tomorrow is visiting day.  I’m hoping my parents will not come in.  Just let me finish my time in peace.  Only seven weeks to go …

 

January 20

I had a pleasant day.  Got some sleep last night.  The meals were all ok today (bacon, hamburgers, Chinese).  I found out yesterday that I lost 2 pounds so I’m cutting back on deserts and skipping breakfasts …

Bubba inspected my room and said it was ok, ‘cept for the books.  I finished one last night, “Numbered Account” [by Christopher Reich], which was good, now I’m reading one about the mob. …

Bill Loo left us some newspapers so I read the post and then Burton Cummings came on so I stayed awake all afternoon (a bit unusual for me), but I took a good nap after summer till 9:01 …

Winston came back inn today on a breach of his undertaking so I don’t know if he’ll get back out or not.  I’m worried about getting paid cause he says he’s broke and he was talking about taking off out west.  It might be a good idea for him to run off out west and transfer the charges out there cause he’d  get a lot less time.  I’m going to try and give him the best advice I can and hope we can come to some understanding about the money owed, I really need that when I get out.  I don’t want him to leave me and then I’m stuck with a bad debt …

Jason said something funny today, he said he keeps looking at the dates on the milk cartons, “and can’t wait till they’re saying July”, ha ha.  We all have our own ways of counting the time.  For me, it’s 48 days or 144 more meals …

There’s a major snowstorm / blizzard on its way tomorrow.  So I might as well be in jail cause I’d hate to be out in that shit.  I don’t have to go outside and don’t want to.

January 21

Snowstorm today, actually a blizzard.  Not that it makes any difference around here … It’s been a pretty rotten day.  I couldn’t get any sleep last night ‘till 6:00.  At lunch they forgot to cook chicken for me.  I called Ian this afternoon and he hasn’t done anything for me.  Anne’s not answering her phone.  The fucking asshole guards, kids, we had working this evening wouldn’t take us to the library. 

Yesterday, [Guard 3] and Bill left us three newspapers but the prick (Dwayne) who was working last night took them all home with him, that itself was enough to ruin my day.  I haven’t really talked to Winston yet but I get the impression that he’s made no plans to pay his bill, so I don’t know if I’ll have any money when I get out of here. 

I’ve been trying to make some plans with Mark but I’m getting the impression that he’s full of shit.  I probably won’t even have enough money to get to Montreal when I get out and I can’t see anybody at Welfare till the day before I get out so I don’t know if I’ll have a place to live.  I’ll be so happy to get out of here and then get off this fucking island.

 

January 22

Just another shitty day, last night I couldn’t sleep ‘till 5:00 am.  I’m really getting fed up with this insomnia.  And I’m fed up with the doctor giving me these dud pills.  This has got to be straightened out next week … Mark got his visit today but Mark didn’t see Debra L. yet so nothing happened. 

I was really pissed off about that.  I’m so fed up with this bullshit.  It seems so simple but they just keep fucking up.  I got Ian on the visiting list for tomorrow so I hope I can get this straightened out once and for all …

I was talking to Winston today and it looks like he hasn’t even thought about how he’s going to fix me up.  He’s hard to talk to but I’ve got to get the message through to him.  This has gotta be worked for when I get out and that’s not too far away … I took a couple of naps today (it’s hard not too if I can’t sleep at night), so I’ll probably be up all night again.

January 23

And another shitty day.  Ian didn’t show up.  I called him twice but he didn’t show.  I think he’s into the pills ‘cause his voice was all slurred.  Debra L. is supposed to go see him tonight but I imagine that something else will go wrong.  That’s just the way things have been going … 

I talked with Winston at supper about getting some money.  He was resistant at first but I think he’s starting to come around.  I’ll be talking to him tomorrow at breakfast …

It’s getting really crowded in max.  They’ve got the left unit closed to paint it.  We had another guy in with us today but he got sent to the hole.  But I suppose there’ll be somebody else any day now …

My mother left a message to call home tomorrow but I think I’ll ignore it.  I don’t need any more bullshit from them …

I’ll have to tell the nurse I need to see the doctor again.  I just can’t sleep at night and its driving me crazy … I’m down to 45 days now.  The end is approaching fast.

 

January 24

Another fuckup today, although I saw it coming.  Ian and Debra L. didn’t get together.  I thought it was Ian’s fault but now I’m starting to think it was Debra L..  I think she might be scared to get involved.  I can only guess but she said she called Ian’s house last night and there was no answer.  I find that hard to believe because he lives with his parents and it was Sunday night.  I’m just not sure who to blame …

We got another guy in our unit, Willy, Whip’s friend.  He got 11 months.  All the guys went to court today.  Mark got 30 days concurrent, but he still has charges pending.  Lorrie’s having a trial on Friday for possession for the purpose [of trafficking] on Friday, and, in my eyes, it doesn’t look good for him.  He got a statement from the cops outlining the information given by four different rats!  They’re all going to be in court (the guys here, not the rats) in February for the conspiracy charges …

Winston got out today.  I  think I talked some sense into him and he will hopefully have something for me when I get out … I was kinda depressed this afternoon but Monday evening always seems to pass quickly cause we get out an hour for church.  It’s only an hour out but it makes a big difference.

January 25

Things are getting a little better.  I think we found an alternative way to get my package in.  I’m fairly sure now that Mark and Debra L. are full of shit.  I was wasting my time trying to get them to do something.  Oh well, live and learn …

Last night I was up till 4 am again.  I’m anxious to see the doctor again tomorrow.  He’s probably sick of seeing me but if he just gave me something good everything would be alright.  I’ve been giving my blue pills (immovane) to the other guys and they work great for them but they keep me up all night, funny how that is.  I’m feeling tired now though, I guess because I didn’t take a nap this evening … [Guard 3] told me he got a coupon in the mail for a free bag of dogfood.  I wrote a letter for him in exchange for this, I hope to get him to buy me a Montreal Gazette.

 

January 26

It wasn’t too bad of a day.  We had pancakes for breakfast.  That’s the only breakfast I like and the only one that I eat.  And I found out that I lost another 2 pounds when I weighed myself at the doctors office (186).  The doctor himself was a prick, wouldn’t give me anything else.  I never had much respect for that doctor and I have even less now …

All the guards were nagging at me to clean up my room this morning, especially [Guard 2].  [Guard 2] also woke me up to show me a memo from [Counselor] that states that we can’t wear bracelets.  I’m losing my respect for [Guard 2].  He seems fairly easy going but he likes the power …

The French girl was here to help me out today.  She says my understanding is pretty good but it seems to me I have a long way to go yet even just to carry on a conversation.  I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to keep it up on the outside. It would be nice if I could find a good looking female trainor.  Ooh-la-la …

Tomorrow, if all goes well, I get the long awaited package, oh please.  And as of tomorrow, I’ve only got 6 weeks left, 42 days, 126 meals.  26 meals away from breaking the 100 meal barrier.

January 27

Another fuck-up today.  The girl who was supposed to call Ian but she says there was no answer at Staples (???), it just never stops.  But there might be another chance next week although that ruins this weekend … I got to sleep fairly early last night – 1:30 and I only took a small nap this evening so I should get a good sleep tonight.  I guess they’re going to be bugging me tomorrow morning about cleaning up the place ([Guard 2]’s been nagging me all day – I’m losing my respect for him) because [Counselor] and [Supervisor] are supposed to come and take a look around – probably just looking for an excuse to put me in the hole, fuck them. …

No visits today and I didn’t want any so that was good.  And somebody gave me two V’s so that was ok, although not enough. …

Whips going to court tomorrow.  I hope it turns out ok, but really I think he’s fucked. …

I’d like to get my I.Q. test started with Sandy tomorrow.  I’m getting a little pissed about how it keeps getting put off.  I had hoped to have it finished by Christmas and it’s now almost February. 

Soon I’m going to have to start looking for a place to stay when I get out. There’s only four more days in January and Feb. is my last full month.  I’ve gotta try and get my license back too.  Yeah, there’s much to do in my last six weeks.

 

January 28

Another weekend coming up. My 6^th last one. I had hoped to sleep it all away on Serax but, alas, it was not to be … Sandy didn’t show up today as I had hoped.  I’m a-getting’ annoyed with this.

Lorrie went to court today and got some good news. It looks like the cops fucked up getting the warrants so everything could be dropped.  He goes back next Friday to find out for sure.  I was hoping he would bring back some valium, but it didn’t happen … As I see how his case unfolds, I’m realizing that I could have beaten my charges with a better lawyer, oh well, too late now …

I was pissed off this morning.  [Supervisor] and [Counselor] were planning an inspection and Bubba was being a pathetic suck up.  He took all the clothes out of my room.  He’s a fucking jellyfish … I was talking to Ian and he says he’ll have most of my cash together when I get out.

… Blue Rodeo is playing Charlottetown and tickets go on sale tomorrow.  What a time to be in jail.  I’m going to try and get in touch with George to see if he can get a couple for me.  I don’t wanna ask my mother.  If worse comes to worse, I hope they’re not sold out before I get out.  I really want to see them … 

Mark’s been sick the last few days – the flu I guess.  Hope I don’t get it but I always seem to get everything that goes around … after tomorrow I’ll have only forty days left, dreams of freedom fill my head.

January 29

It wasn’t a bad day for a Saturday.  I took my 2 blue pills last night and I went to sleep easily.  I got a new book from Dave D., “The Testament – John Grisholm”.  Dave also brought in the Halifax paper, so I read that and killed an hour and a half and then I called Mike [me, his brother] and talked to him for a while.  I think I get along better with him than anyone else in the family.  He offered to send me Office 97 which I’m interested in learning.

…  I’m trying to get George’s number so I can get him to get me tickets for Blue Rodeo.  Lorrie could get it for me but he doesn’t like George so he won’t get it for me. What’s the big fucking deal.  I’m hoping George can help me out a bit when I get out of here.  I’m down to 40 days now, that’s not long … short time they call it.

 

January 30

Another weekend has passed.  It wasn’t too bad except that I could [not] get to sleep last night till 6:30 am.  But I stayed up most of the day today so I should be able to sleep tonight, if not I’ll have get my own pills in …

I had a newspaper to read and some crossword puzzles to do so the day went by all right.  I’ve only got five more weekends left … mum and dad came in to visit.  I wasn’t expecting them and I didn’t really want to see them.  I’m so sick of their analysis of my life.  I suppose I was kind of rude to them – yes and no answers: but they annoyed me so much in the past that I just can’t deal with them.  They asked if I wanted them to come in again and I said no.  I guess that was rude but I really don’t want any more visits.  They just aggravate me.  Just let me finish my time and get out and all will work out ok, that’s how I see it.

 

January 31

Feeling sick today, this is not pleasant.  I’m stuffed up and my cigarettes don’t taste good. … Bubba told me this morning that they want to move me to medium this week.  I’m not interested but the choice may not be up to me.  Why can’t they just leave me be and let me finish my time here?

… I met with Sandy today.  My personality test shows that I’m fairly normal.  We started the IQ test too and I did really well in the first 2 parts of it – in the top 5-10% of the population, he says.  I’m a smart cookie …

Jason went to medium today.  I wish we could keep the unit as it is now.  As of tomorrow, I’ve only got 37 days left and I’d like to finish them where I am now.