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| 1999 Jail Diary #1 |
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This week seems to be going fast. The weather has been good too and that makes a difference. I haven’t heard anything about going to medium but that’s how things work around here. Never ending head games …
My mother was here today. They’re baffled about me screwing up the program,
but dad is going to come in for the parole hearing. Funny how that is, as it was his name I put down for my advocate. I’m fairly confident that I’ll be out in December. It would be great if I could take a program in November but that’s unlikely as long as [Supervisor] is involved. But three months is not a long time. I can handle it.
Not much going on today. It’s the start of another long weekend … I’ve got a cricket in my room and I can’t get rid of him. He’s really pissing me off. We sprayed the window three times so far with Off but he’s still chirping …
Yesterday, Jason, Jimmy and [Terrence] tried to take a bath in their showers and flooded the hallway that leads outside …
We had a church concert in the gym tonight. I was hoping they’d have pop for us but I was disappointed. I got them to sing “joy, joy, joy” which, I guess, is my song. I was talking to Jolene and got a letter from her. She’s pretty friendly to me now, too bad we weren’t out. I’d like to see her get out around the same time that I do, so we could have a bit of fun …
I think I will try and get to medium next week before I go to that parole hearing. It would be better if I was in medium next week before I go to that parole hearing. And John will probably get parole so I’d like to hang out with him till he leaves. He’s a good guy. I’ve made a lot of friends in here. It really hasn’t been that bad.
So far its been a long boring weekend. The highlight of my day was reading the Sunday Herald. Although it’s boring here, I remember being just as bored sitting around the house in Souris. If I had a choice between between being in jail and spending a winter in Souris … well, I’d have to think long and hard about it.
I’m looking forward to going to medium now just for a change of pace. As of tomorrow, I’ll have thirteen weeks left, if everything goes well at the parole hearing on Wednesday
The guards brought in 3 newspapers today (a holiday) so I was quite pleased about that. That kept me busy for a while … I got in touch with Ann this afternoon. She says she’ll come out to see me on Thursday. She has some new painkillers that I’d like to try. I hope she shows up …
Jim and I talked about crime for a while outside. Everything’s looking good …
I wrote letters to Steven, [Valerie], and [Pauline] today, also to the Nurses Association and to Jolene as well. I was talking to her in church and she’s thinking that she’ll get time served. But I think she’s going to be disappointed. Life is not always “a bed of roses” as the German woman in church said tonight …
I heard tonight that my phone calls are being monitored by order of the Crown! The fucking bastards will never leave me alone. I hope this information is used by the Parole Board or I won’t be getting out till March. That’s what I’m expecting now. We’ve got a leak or a loose [informant] lint? somewhere … must be careful. Just when things were looking so good it all gets fucked up. I’ll be under surveillance from the minute I get out of here …
I thought I’d be moved to medium today. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with that. Nothing makes sense around here … tomorrow is when I will find out my release date, at my parole hearing. Dad is coming in. Hopefully between the two of us we can talk some sense into them.
Well … I got thoroughly fucked by the Parole Board today. My parole was revoked so I have to do two-thirds of the remainder which amounts to 6 ½ months. Louis B. had nothing good to say, and although he knew that Summerside would take me back, but he wouldn’t confirm it because he didn’t have it in writing.
The worst thing was what my father had to say, he essentially said I was hopeless, I kept fucking up and there was nothing they could do for me. I can’t believe he did this to me. He chose the worst possible time to feed me to the lions.
Maybe he meant well but he shouldn’t have come in if he wasn’t going to help me get out. If it was my son in jail, I’d tell them whatever they wanted to hear to get him out. Using addiction as a defense in court is the worst thing I’ve ever done. I’m going to do 21 of the 24 months. I could have been out sooner if I’d been sentenced to eight years in the pen …
On the bright side (if there is one), I won’t have to go outside all winter. And at least for sure, I know when I’m getting out … It’s weird how I feel. I am disappointed but it doesn’t really bother me that much. I haven’t lived on my own for so long I don’t remember what it is like. This is my home...
… John got his parole today, so he’ll be moving on soon … three guys got moved to medium today but not me. I’m getting fucked around again as usual. No surprise there.
I asked to be allowed to take a French course a couple weeks ago and I was told it wasn’t possible until I was moved to medium, but they won’t put me in medium! Quite the place they’ve got here …
Larry it seems hasn’t been home for three days. I thought I could count on him but I guess that isn’t so. If nothing else, I’ll learn a lot about human nature and behavior from all the people I’ve met in here …
I called Winston tonight and sounded kinda fucked up. That’s not good. Hope he shows up Sunday like I asked him to … Ann says she’ll come in tomorrow. We’ll see, I guess …
Dad gave me pictures of the kids today. [Valerie] is beautiful. I wish I was able to spend time with her. Even just to get someone to bring her in is such a hassle. I wish I hadn’t mailed those letters to the kids yet. I told Steven I was going to be out in twelve weeks. He’s going to be disappointed. I wish they’d take them to see me more often.
Ann didn’t show up today. Not a big surprise. This is the third time she’s done that. It really annoys me the way I’m treated by my friends on the outside. I’m reluctant to contact anyone. Nobody’s gone out of their way to do anything for me since I’ve come in here. I’m hoping something is going to happen this weekend for Dennis and I but who knows?
We’ve got a bit of an airshow outside today. One of the pilots was practicing for the airshow outside tonight. Tomorrow, I’m getting some phenobarb which might give me a bit of a buzz. That would be nice. Fuck this abstinence shit. It hasn’t gotten me anywhere.
Dwight M. from the RCMP was here today to interview me regarding the complaint I put in about my money. There is some hope although I’m not overly optimistic about getting the money back. I’m also thinking about putting in a complaint about Burt D., Montague RCMP about his reporting the accident with the Mazda to the Dept. of Highways even though I’ve never been charged.
… got in touch with Larry today. He didn’t get anything done all week. I guess if you just expect to be let down then you won’t be let down, if that makes any sense. What I mean is that you can’t get anyone to do you a favor while you’re in here … I’ve decided to call Ann again tomorrow and ask her again to come out. I guess I’m getting desperate. …
I got a message today to call [Janine] this weekend. I wonder what she wants. Probably to settle the separation agreement. I don’t care.
… looks like it’s going to rain for the next week or so. That should make for a long weekend. Next weekend I’m going to be getting some tapes for learning French so I’m looking forward to that.
We caught a cell thief today. The new guy stole a bale of tobacco from me. I found it in his room and I even bought him a pack yesterday! So we ran him out of the unit. Frankie gave him a slap and I should have too. He’s going to do two months of hard time here! John Murphy is in lockup for a b. and e. [break and enter] another thief. I don’t want him in here either.
Art and Cindy were here for a visit today. I wasn’t expecting them but it was nice that they dropped in. They say Steven is at the house all the time but [Janine] hardly ever brings [Valerie] down.
Ann didn’t show up. She had the phone off the hook all day. I don’t know what the fuck that’s about, but I won’t be calling anymore. Winston didn’t show up either. I think he’s probably all fucked up. I might have to get somebody to go see him – more headaches …
John M. got put in our unit today. He’s not a bad guy but I think it’s him who stole my bracelet. He’ll never admit it though … the guards brought in three papers today that helped to pass the time. Overall the weekend and this month seems to be going fast. And, I hope the weather stays nice for a while.
Frankie and I got moved to the centre unit today. They say they’re painting the left unit so they moved us all out. So we’ve got a pretty good unit together now: me, Frankie, Jason, [Terrence], Jimmy and Monte. I’m getting to like Frankies sense of humor. It’s sort of like mine.
… the French tapes didn’t arrive today, maybe tomorrow. I’ll be able to get advice from Jim now that we’re in the same unit …John Bradley said to Frankie today that I have “brains coming out my ass” … I guess that’s a compliment …
I kinda enjoyed church tonight. Frankie has a rash on his dick and I asked them to pray for him in church. That was funny. I got a letter from Jolene and I was talking to her in church. She expects to get nine months so maybe she’ll be out around the same time as me … it was John’s last night in church, the last time I’ll really get to see him. I’m going to miss that guy. We had a lot of good times here. I’m glad I met him …
Ian was avoiding me today. I’m getting pissed off about that. He is going to pay one way or another. And Larry and Dave still haven’t picked up the package that’s been ready for 3 days now. I expected more from Larry. Who can you trust … [Terrence], Frankie, Jason and I emptied out our toilets tonight after lockup. We can all talk and hear each other clearly. Jason had the radio on and we could all hear it loud and clear. This silly stuff makes it fun in hear. I wish we had the girls in on the line too. Some nights before we had about ten of us on the line.
It’s a pretty good unit we got together here. I like it. It’s sorta fun here. The guys had a water fight today. [Terrence] got soaked.
My French lessons came but [Supervisor] won’t let me have them in the unit – only in the library. He’s such a dickhead. It would be a lot easier for me if I could work on it with Jim, but I think I am going to catch on to it fairly quick …
This morning [Terrence] messed up my tray and bijous[?] freaked out. He’s an idiot. A whiner. I got hold of Larry tonight and he says he’ll do a favor for me this evening. I hope he comes through but I’m doubtful. I’ll know tomorrow … I’m trying to get Ian on my visiting list to get things worked out with him … I’m tired of all this bullshit that people outside put me through …
[Supervisor] and [Guard1] grilled me today about 2 of my phone calls that were monitored. In the calls I only asked for money but they jumped to the conclusion that I was asking for drugs. Fucking boneheads. Infidels. Also Boujois ratted me out for pissing in dirty trays so I was worried about that … and they will let me bring the French stuff back to the unit but only on the weekends. I guess that’s ok. I like to get out to the library during the week anyway …
There was a big drug bust in town today. They got Whip. I haven’t seen him yet cause he’s still in lockup. Tomorrow, I’ll get more information …
Frankie and [Terrence] had a water and shaving cream fight this morning. It was quite a mess. And Jim emptied out Frankie’s toothpaste and filled it with lotion but Frankie caught on …
I saw the doctor about my pills. They’ve been reduced. I find that I’m shaky a lot but we’re going to try it for a few weeks and see what happens.
I’ve been working on my French the past few days. I think I’m coming along well. I should have a good grasp on it by the time that I get out … Frankie pissed in a really messy tray at dinner and again Boujois ratted us out to the guards … neither Ian nor Ann not Winston showed up to visit today. And Larry didn’t do anything for us either … Whip is in max now. Some of these French guys they got are pretty big. Sounds like Whip was making a lot of money. Hope there’s some out there for me … looks like it’s going to rain all weekend, so we won’t be getting out. Guess I’ll work on my French …
My French is coming along well, oui, oui, oui. I’ve got the tapes in the unit for the weekend. Jim is a pretty good help to me … Jim got good news from Montreal today. Things will be good for us when we get out … Larry still never came through. We’re going to get someone else to take care of it. That seems to be the only way to get it done. I hope we don’t have to go through this all over again … I got a letter our to Tyler today. I haven’t heard from him in a while … the weekend is upon us again, the past few days really went by fast.
A rainy day. We didn’t get outside all day. So we stayed inside and watched Frankie light his farts, “blue angels” … I spent about three hours working on my French. Making progress … John gets out tomorrow so it looks like I won’t see him again. John and I got along well. Guess that’s all I have to say …
Sunny out today. Pretty nice for this late in September but it’s getting cool at night. I fear that our evening outside time will soon be lost … I spent a few hours in the phone room working on my French. It’s coming along pretty good and it helps pass the time. If I can master this, I might try another language, probably Spanish or Dutch.
If I have any money together when I get out, I might go to Mexico for a week … Jim’s been trying to play a practical joke on me all day but hasn’t been successful. I found the toothpaste in my bed on my roll of toilet paper, and the water on my seat, soon, I shall take my revenge …
Mum and dad were here for a visit but Winston and Ian didn’t show up which is not a big surprise. Perhaps I should have let Dave take care of Ian. He is definitely going to pay. Trying to get visits is just a pain in the arse. You can’t count on anybody to show up. It’s frustrating and aggravating …
Everybody in our unit is getting along well. I kinda enjoy living here, for a jail. If we could just get some pills everything would be perfect.
This morning they found out about the hole in our window. So they sent us all to the gym and searched our unit. There was nothing in it to be found but they took our extra clothes (?!?). After the search nobody said anything to us. We’re expecting to get a blast when [Guard1] comes in tomorrow. (they even took the sheets off my bed).
I was talking to Jolene in church. She got five months so she’ll be out Christmas eve. I’m glad that she didn’t get too much time but at the same time I’m disappointed that she’ll be out before me. Oh well, maybe I’ll have a bunch of girls responding to my add by then
… I called [Janine] tonight and she wouldn’t accept the charges. Bitch, that pisses me off. I still can’t get an answer from Winston either and I’m concerned about that … I think we’ve found someone to bring in our package. That we’ll find out tomorrow.
First day of fall and still no package. It looks hopeless for getting that done. … Terrance got out today. Actually he’s out tomorrow. He was supposed to go to Summerside jail today but they put him in lockup and left him there all day. Assholes …
I got Jim good with toothpaste: lighter, cup, underwear and socks. And he got me and Frankie with a bucket of water. Jason and Frankie stuck tobacco tubes all over the ceiling, and had to take them all down. We are having fun here, without drugs …
Tomorrow the recreation schedule is being changed so we won’t be going out in the evenings. That kind of sucks. We watched Cartmans video for Come Sail Away [South Park]. That was funny. Yesterday Jim and Frankie watched Band on the Run and all day they were singing “Regs got the Runs.”
I called home to ask about the earthquake in Taiwan to see if Lisa [Mike's wife] is okay. And she is. Must have gotten the shit scared out of her though. I also called [Janine] and talked to her, asking her about her interview with the cops. She talked to him for 3 hours. I think he might be probing her for information, but it was hard to talk to her. She seemed to be getting defensive. That’s no surprise …
Still can’t get an answer at Winstons. I wonder what the fuck is going on there. … I asked Georgina about getting War and Peace, she says she might be able to get it for me. I’d like to read that thing, 1300 pages.
I haven’t been able to get to the library yet this week to work on my French, but I’m picking at it here in the unit. It seems to be more of a course in reading and writing French than spending it; not much info on pronunciation. It’s good that I have Jim here to help me out, but he won’t be here much longer.
We got another guy in the unit today – George M., back for his 3rd bit in a row. I was hoping they wouldn’t put him in our unit because he’s hard to listen to. He comes up with a lot of stupid facts: 25% of the KKK are black, Marylyn Manson is Charlie’s cousin, if all the people in China jumped at once the earth would go out of orbit, …fuck off …
I gave up on trying to get our package in. It’s just too difficult to get any help outside … Frankie got fucked around by the nurse this morning. The doctor told him he could have his [sneakers?] and then [nurse1] said he couldn’t. So I wrote a letter to the Nurses Association for him. I love doing this kind of stuff …
I went back to the library to work on my French. I think I’m coming along good but I’m worried that I may not be able to keep it as long as I want, as it is on loan from the Dept. of Education, but if not, I might be able to get something from the Public Library or even buy something. I’d like to learn a few more languages or at least the basics of them before I get out …
We didn’t get pancakes this morning, I was pretty disappointed about that. We had that fucking French toast twice this week … Frankie and I dressed up in KKK outfits, sheet and pillowcase. It was funny. We do a lot of silly things in here. That’s why I like this unit.
It rained all day so we didn’t get outside. And I didn’t get any visits either. I wonder what the fuck is going on with Winston. Jim’s friend was going to see him for me but they wouldn’t let him in …
I wrote a letter to the cigarette roller company to try and get a free roller. I was showing the guys some of the other letters I wrote. They got a good laugh out of them. I think too that [Supervisor] and Verna will know that I helped Frankie with his letter but I don’t care, fuck em …
Tomorrow is the day Ian is supposed to drop off some money, we’ll see what happens … tomorrow is Friday so I can look forward to watching some South Park …
Ian dropped some cash in my account this evening, finally. I gave $100 to Whip to pay off an old debt. I’m glad to get that off my chest. I hate owing money. …
I found that Larry moved off the island. What an asshole he turned out to be … Jim made some plans with one of the new guys that might pay off well for me, as I’m his partner. I hope I can get something going around here so I’ll be pulling my weight. Getting sent to jail may be one of the best things that ever happened to me, in the long run …
The package that Dennis and I had got picked up but not dropped off. I guess we’re fucked there. … I’ve got the French tapes for the weekend so I’m hoping that I can make a lot of progress on that …
George is taking control of the remote. This is pissing me off because he watches stupid shows. George, I think, is an idiot. … Terry M. got out today and promises to do us a favor tomorrow. We’ll hope for the best and see what happens. Larry went out west without doing anything for us. What a prick! And Dave ripped us off for a package, a very sleazy thing to do. I can’t understand why Jim wants to work with him. He’s obviously a scum bag …
I still can’t get an answer from Winston. I hope that he will show up tomorrow. I’m getting really frustrated about this. Fuck, I hate dealing with people outside …
No visits today. Looks like I’m getting fucked around. What to do? … got in a few hours of study on my French today. I hope I can keep the book long enough to finish it. I am coming along good but there’s a long way to go yet. But I have lots of free time …
I got mail today – a coupon from Cadburys and a letter from Players [tobacco]. Frankie got one from Rockport [tobacco]. I kinda have fun writing to companies. Today I wrote to Bic to complain about their pens and to Jean Chretien to ask for a flag …
Terry fucked us around, no package. I really thought he would do it. Bastard. … I called him this evening, just seeing what’s up with my 240. I’m going to call Kevin tomorrow and ask him to start working on it again. I also called about my 280 and arranged to keep it in storage where it is for the winter. …
Ann says that she will come to visit on Thursday. Winston should be in too as he was told by Dave to come see me. … in church tonight, Frankie kept farting, really stinky ones. Jolene gave me a letter but it’s not kinky enough. I need something a bit racier. Maybe next time … Jimmy Cullins is getting married here in jail tomorrow. That is gonna be different …
Jimmy Cullins got married here today but they wouldn’t let any of us attend the ceremony. Fucking bastards. Jimmy seemed a bit down. Suppose I would be too if I got married in this place … Frankie had his phone calls taken away for farting in church last night. That’s about the stupidest thing I ever heard of. It’s just one of the ways they have of fucking him around for sending out letters to complain about the nurse I guess. The people running this place are so fucking sick. They’ll stop at nothing to fuck with our heads.
I helped Frankie write a letter about the fart punishment to the Attorney General, Director of Corrections and The Guardian. I really wish The Guardian would do a story about the shit that goes on around here.
Jason got moved to medium this morning. Now it’s just me, Jim and Frankie. And Jim only has a few days left. I would like to stay in max until I finish the French course so I can get help from Jim (until he leaves) and Marc. I enjoy getting out of the unit for an hour a day to work on French. I think I’m doing alright but they talk so fast on tv that I don’t know if I ever will catch on. Must keep at it though. I think that I’m capable of learning many languages …
Dennis tells me that we might be able to get a big package next week, but I will have to see Winston first. Jim is getting pissed that he’s not answering my calls. He wants to send someone to give him a smack. And I’m starting to agree that that may be necessary … they wouldn’t let me put Ann on my visiting list for tomorrow. No explanation given. Assholes.
Well, Jim thinks he has the scabies (might have got them from the dirtbag, EL. And they are contagious. I don’t wanna get the little bastards … Dennis told me he might have something for me tomorrow. Hope so!
… Winston didn’t show up again today. Looks like somebody will have to go see him. I don’t want this to happen but … I don’t understand why he won’t answer the phone, asshole … it was a beautiful day out today, especially for the end of September … they put Joe A. in our unit tonight. I don’t look forward to doing time with that fucked-up old wino. Melvin M. is in the other unit. I guess they had court in Souris today. I doubt that Melvin would be wise enough to bring something in with him …
We’re getting the movie channel now as Jim is watching movies all day long. Me, I hate watching movies … John Bradley too another week off so we got the French stuff in the unit for the next 12 days. I might even be able to finish it. … Frankie is in the room below me so I’m going to jump on the floor for a while now.
October 1
And the bullshit continues. Dennis didn’t go outside today so that probably means he got greedy. This is so fucking annoying …
I got a letter from the Nurses Association today asking me to fill in a complaint form. I don’t know what the fuck this is all about; I thought we already went through this.
I also got a call from a lawyer, Susan W., responding to my letter to the Lawyers Association asking for help. She is going to do some research on the strip searches and human rights and get back to me. If they plan on strip searching me tomorrow after my visit with the kids I think I’m going to refuse. And I will probably spend the weekend in lock-up for that. But I’ll do it for the cause …
Jim found out today that his sentencing has been put off for two more weeks. He is very disappointed, as he was looking forward to getting to Springhill, or looking forward to getting out of this fucked-up place. And Frankie was told he won’t be going to medium. That’s obviously because of the letters he wrote … I heard that Jodi is going to be sent to the women’s prison, I guess because they don’t want to deal with her here. It’s probably a better place anyway. Anything would be better than here …
… Georgina gave me “War and Peace” today. I’m looking forward to reading that. But first, I have to finish the two books I’m reading now: Cocaine Kings and Elsa’s Story, I am really enjoying. War & Peace is thirteen hundred pages so that should keep me busy for a long time, probably until it snows …
Mum and dad and the kids were in today. [Valerie] is so pretty. But mum and dad make me uncomfortable around the kids. I feel like I’m being monitored. Every time they come in they whisper “talk to Steven” but then I find it hard to talk to them cause I’m under pressure … It would probably be better if [Janine] brought them in. But she’s a bitch. She says she wants me to have a relationship with them but she’ll do nothing to facilitate it …
We got Elery L. back in our unit today. I’m not sure if he’s ok or not. He seems kind of obnoxious but there’s 4 guys to play cards now so I might get the tv to myself … Dennis is in the hole. I guess he fucked up and ate all the pills. Just another asshole, one of many I’ve met this past year …
Frankie and I dressed the salt and pepper shakers up in KKK outfits at lunch. It looked pretty funny … my ad hasn’t appeared in the paper yet. I’m kinda disappointed about that. I was hoping to get some mail. I would have enjoyed corresponding with some females, yeah …
Well another weekend is over. Only about 22 left now …! … again Winston didn’t show up. I don’t know what the fuck he’s up to but it doesn’t look good … my tape player broke down today and John Bradley won’t be back for a week so I will have to get along without it … I’ve finished the books I was reading and now I’m starting into War and Peace. I think I’m-a gonna like it …
Jim went to court today but his sentencing was put off (again) till the 22nd. And Elery the dirtbag went to court too but he hasn’t come back yet … Frankie and I and [Supervisor] got into a big argument today. I really got the bastard pissed off. He made Frankie take off his cross but we put up a good fight (argument).
Dennis came back to max, empty handed. This thing is just fucking hopeless …
Nobody farted in church tonight … Jolene took off early. I don’t know what was wrong with her. Must be in a bad mood about something …
I’m not sure if this French course is any good. I’m learning lots of words but I don’t get to use them much. Jim seems a bit cranky about helping me out. I wish I was stuck in a French jail for a couple months.
I also got a letter from DuMaurier [tobacco]. Looks like I’ll be getting a free carton of cigarettes … all kinds of fun stuff coming in …
Frankie made a bracelet this evening. I kinda like it … Jim C. went off at Merle tonight. That was good to see. We have to put up with so much bullshit here, usually over little things that sooner of later somebody is going to explode … I heard today that Martin Dorell died. I was going to meet him when I got out … time waits for no man …
Frankie’s gone. We knew something was up when we saw [Guard1] standing in the kitchen with some papers in his hand and looking excited. He nabbed Frankie in the hall. I guess his reason was that he was wearing a necklace (?!?) but it was really about Frankie writing letters about the nurse. I think [Guard1] wanted Frankie and me split up because I was urging him on. [Guard1] is a fucking peice-of-shit asshole and I guess Frankie told him so - way to go Franko. But they cleaned out his cell so he won’t be coming back. I’ll kinda miss having Frankie around. He’s a good guy. But things change so quickly around here. People are always coming and going whenever we get a good bunch of guys in the same unit, the guards always want to fuck it up. I wish death on [Supervisor] and [Guard1] G. I hate those bastards. This place is full of assholes; not the inmates, but the guards. They fuck us over for the stupidest little things. If I ever do time again it’s going to be Federal …
Every day seems to be getting a bit longer than the one before it. Maybe that’s because it’s getting too cold to go outside. Maybe I just want to get out. I’ve been here for almost a year and still have five months to go … Frankie will be coming back to max on Saturday. I head that from [Supervisor] M. He isn’t impressed with the way this was handled by [Guard1] and [Supervisor] either. It was so childish … I guess this weekend is Thanksgiving, but that means nothing in here …
This morning I went to the hole … at breakfast, I noticed [Guard1] talking to Lorrie and looking at me. After we got back to the unit, [Guard1] came up to my room and told me my bracelet had to go and to make my bed. I ignored him.Shortly after, Lorrie came in wanting my bracelet. I told him I wasn’t taking it off. So he says, “I guess you want to go over there then (lockup)”. And so I went.
I told the guys in the other unit what was going on and they all laughed (this is getting foolish). When I got to lock-up the guys working there just shook their heads when I told them why I was there. They put me out back in the cell with the camera. Frankie was there in the middle cell. He was allowed to walk around and I gave him a cigarette, and I was glad that he was there. Later, [Supervisor] and Every took me out to tell me I was guilty of possession of contraband, and refusing an order. They gave me three days on each, concurrent. Pretty severe, I think, for wearing a bracelet! What a pair of assholes they are! Then they put me in the back cell with the camera. I guess [Supervisor] wanted them to watch me. So I kept covering the camera with toilet paper and then they moved me into the back corner cell.
Frankie and I talked for a while. We passed cigarettes back and forth with the blankets, almost got caught twice. Jonathan said he smelled smoke and Sherri said she thought it smelled like Spruce (we were using newspaper for rolling papers) so they figured it must be the wood chip furnace. Ha ha.
Mike G. got put out back with us. He’s doing weekends. Funny, I was just talking to Frankie about him and then he came in. I haven’t talked to him in years. I got his phone number and he said he’d do me a favor if I can work it out. Later on Frankie got moved to ‘seg [segregation] ‘cause there was a lot of drunks coming in. they were going to move him tomorrow anyway for a few more days and then around one in the morning they woke me up and take me back to max because they needed my cell.
George is working so Jim was up watching TV and I was able to get some papers and tobacco and make another package. I’m all set now! Easy time in the hole. I also wrote out some French stuff so I can study it tomorrow. I guess I’ll be going back early in the morning. But I’m glad I was able to come back early in the morning.
Thanksgiving. I get out of the hole this morning. It really wasn’t all that bad this time. I think it gets easier every time you go there. Of course having smokes made it better.
Saturday night I was sent to max again because there was a lot of drunks coming in so I packed my arsehole with tobacco, papers, a pencil and some crossword puzzles. I had quite a load up there. And I smuggles in the French book in my underwear … Dennis was there Saturday. The guys in max ran him because they say is a rat. Frankie got sent down to medium …
I shaved half of my face today, just to do something different. Everybody got a laugh out of it. I was in church tonight talking to Jolene. I gotta spend a few nights with her when I get out. Her letters are getting a bit more interesting … more sexual content. I like that. …
The baseball playoffs (is that the word) are on tonight so we are allowed to stay up late (watching the pornos on the French channel is what will be done, no doubt).
Well the long weekend is over and everything is back to normal, except us. Joe shaved half his face. I may have started a trend – good side, bad side …
I scored a bunch of magazines in the library, that was a bonus. And John will get another French course when I finish this one … was talking to Carl P. He wants to come for a visit so I’m going to try and get him on my list tomorrow. He’s trying to locate Winston for me …
Baseball is on again tonight so we can stay up late … But it’s not worth staying up late if we have to watch baseball … As of tomorrow I’ll have 148 days left. I shouldn’t be counting but I just couldn’t help myself…
We got another guy in our unit so there’s six here now. Too crowded, I think. I wish they’d open minimum again and clean the place out… I find myself thinking about Jolene a lot. Hope she’s still around when I get out. We could have some fun. …
John’s not going to be in for the rest of the week so I’ll be getting the French tapes for the rest of the week. I hope to finish by Monday and start another one …
Just another day, another boring day. No mail, no visitors. Max is full now and it’s just too crowded here. Medium is full too. I don’t understand why they won’t open up minimum …
The teacher forgot to drop off the French stuff for this morning (he’s at a teachers meeting) and both [Supervisor] and [Counselor] refused to get it for me. I hate asking that fucker for anything and she’s not much better …
I did get some letters written to colleges in Ontario and Quebec. I’m thinking now that Montreal would be a good place for me to live in maybe a year or two. It’s not too far away and I think I could make some money with my connection there. I gotta be in a city. Jim wants me to move to Moncton next year and I might do so but eventually I would like to settle down in a real city, and I sorta got roots in Montreal.
I finally got to talk to Ann in Toronto today. She’s got a broken leg and the future at Canadian’s uncertain now. I hated telling her I wasn’t getting out this year but life goes on without me.
Another week down. I’ve got about 20 to go now … Carl didn’t show up today. I really thought he would and I’m disappointed that he didn’t but that happens all the time. People always seem to have something more important to do than visit a friend in jail. I guess that’s just the way it is (some things will never change …) …
I finished my French course today. I’m hoping that John can get me to another one tomorrow. I need something to do with my time. Tomorrow we have church. I’m looking forward to that so I can talk to Jolene for a bit. I miss the companionship of a female. I hope she’s still around when I get out now that Winston got busted. Just when everything was starting to look good, it falls apart.
Not much going on today either. John hasn’t been back with more French tapes yet so I’m finding the afternoons long. At least I had some magazines to read today. That’s one of the reasons I like Max, the guards bring in papers sometimes. I wish it would clear out though. This unit just isn’t big enough for six. I’ll be glad when Elery leaves. He’s not a bad guy but he hogs the remote and he’s a pig. I don’t think I like the new guy either but he should be gone in a few days …
George let us stay up all night last night. He said she doesn’t care anymore. It’s not just the inmates who hate [Guard1] and [Supervisor]. I didn’t stay up cause Elery had the remote. I don’t like watching tv unless I have control. Fuck, I’ll be glad to get out of here. I’m just so sick of sharing my space with a bunch of other guys I hardly even know …
I’m trying to decide if I want to go to medium now. A change might be good, but Frankie says he finds the time long. I always found the time long in medium too. It’s crowded there too, eight in every unit. But I would like to get out a little more often, to the library and to AA … I don’t know …
Last night it snowed a bit for the first time. The best thing about being here is that I won’t have to go outside all winter, unless I want to.
I haven’t been able to work on the French for the past few days either. I think the time went better when I had something to do …
Finally got to talk to Ann today. Things are good if I can get Carl to get in touch with Mike before he gets in for the weekend. I’m doubtful that it will work out but "there’s always hope", as Santa would say …
A couple of the guys are going to court tomorrow so I’m hoping this place will clean out a bit. It’s just too damn crowded with six in here and only two soft chairs … as of today, I’ve got 20 weeks left, 140 days, or 420 more meals
I got 2 visits today – Carl and my parents (I haven’t seen Carl for about 2 years). I hope he can work things out with Mike and Ann for me. That would be sweet …
We got rid of two guys from our unit today, so it’s a little better here. Jim is going tomorrow. We have big plans for when I get out. Hope it works out. … I got another French course today. There’s not much to it but it does not have some everyday phrases that should be useful …
Jim C. freaked out in the kitchen at lunch, smashed a plate over his head and held a piece of it up to his throat. They took him to the hospital overnight, guess he’s ok now. [nurse] is somewhat responsible, by cutting off his medication while he’s under a lot of stress. He may be going away for 8-10 years …
[Guard 3] told me this evening that a carton of DuMaurier came in the mail for me. This scam is paying off good …
I found out today that next year is a leap year. I’m not pleased about that. It’s an extra day that I’ll have to spend in jail …
Jim went for sentencing today but it was put off again for 2 more weeks.
My pen ran out of ink last night. What happened yesterday was that I called Carl and Tracy, the ... bitch, told the guard that they didn’t want me calling there anymore. Carl, it would seem, is a fucking asshole. I thought we were friends from way back. It’s so frustrating dealing with people on the outside from in here. Fuck em all, I guess. But I’ll remember these things …
I got my duMaurier cigarettes yesterday. What a cool scam that was! … I had control of the remote all day today. Sweet. The guys were all playing whist. I watched a show, “Behind the Music”, about Ozzy. That made my day right there.
The baseball game was on two, so we stayed up till 12:30. It should be that way every night. … I’m kinda getting bogged down in War and Peace. I find it hard to follow because there are so many characters in it and I still have 700 more pages to go …
I hope that [Guard 3] will bring in a paper tomorrow so I’ll have something to read. Sunday is always such a long boring day here. On the outside too as well, I suppose …
I spent the whole day reading newspapers and I enjoyed it. I’m an information junkie. I also wrote a letter to Tyler and one to Jolene. I hope she can go to church tomorrow so I can pass it to here (give it to her (!)) … I’m getting so tired of living with other guys. Every time a good looking girl comes on the tv, you hear some stupid remark. And everybody burps and farts. Everybody laughs at the fart. I shouldn’t be counting the days but I just can’t help it. It’s 1:35 now.
I’m so fucking sick of this place. Every day is the same. I’m sick of the food, sick of not being able to watch what I want on tv … it seems like this month will never end. I’ve given up on trying to get a package in. It’s just too much trouble. I should just forget about the world outside. Just do my time and get the fuck out. …
There was hardly anybody in church tonight. Frankie and Jason weren’t there. There must be drugs around in medium. Jolene wasn’t there either. I guess she doesn’t love me anymore … hmmm. I liked writing to her. None of the girls went to church tonight that’s unusual. Maybe there was some kind of trouble down there … I’ve got an itch arse. I hope it’s not the scabies … but I can’t stop scratching it.
I got a letter from [Janine] this morning. She wants to get the divorce agreement signed. No problem here. She typed the letter which, it seems to me, is cold and impersonal, but that’s no surprise. I’m better off without her. She can be replaced but I’m one of a kind. …
I’ve decided to re-apply for parole. It’s unlikely I’ll get it but I haven’t got anything to lose. If I would just get in a program before March I’d be happy. I got a letter from the parole board yesterday outlining the reasons for it being revoked. It said it was unfortunate that I didn’t propose another plan but Louis B. didn’t tell me that was an option. He’s a little prick. I was talking to Brian S. today and he said that while it seems unlikely I would be granted another parole, he would help me if I wanted to apply again. It’s worth a try, I think. And it’ll give me something to do. ..
Joe A. got transferred to medium. He’s not a bad guy after all. And the stupid Indian got out so we’re down to a more manageable four now. Elery will be gone this Saturday and Jim on Monday …
I’m not getting much time to work on my French this week because they’re writing GED’s in the library. I have the tapes in my room but I just can’t seem to get into it here. I should buy some of my own language courses to work on while in here. That’s an idea. I’ve also sent to some colleges in Ontario and Quebec for info about correspondence courses. I might be able to get in one before I get out …
Investigative Reports is about heroin tonight. That should be interesting …
Things are getting better. Once I get past the first few weeks of the week the time seems to pass more quickly … I got the rest of my duMaurier cigarettes today. Gave a pack to Jim, one to Jolene, one for myself and the other one I’m going to save for Christmas or New Years …
Elery and James were in the other unit playing cards all day so it was peaceful in here. I’m getting sick of hearing them talk about how much dope they’re going to sell when they get out. I wish Jim would be more discreet. I fear that he’s going to get hooked up with the wrong guys and get busted again. He’s not fussy about who he deals with, perhaps even a bit gullible. I’m starting to question my decision to work with him. It may be motivated by greed rather than by logic.
… I finally got something to eat today. I’ve just been eating crackers and bread for the past few days cuz the meals were garbage. I’m so so so sick and tired of the food here. Oh, how I miss pizza and Kentucky Fried Chicken. And pop and beer. But March isn’t too far away. It would be sweet if I could do the program in my last month. I might put in an application for that tomorrow. I might be able to get in the first program at the new detox. I hope they get rid of those Father Martin [detox?] … As of tomorrow I will have been here a year, a whole fucking year … wasted? …
This is my one year anniversary. Not much to celebrate though. I won’t be out for a while yet. Everybody else here was getting bad news today about charges so that made my situation seem better. I’ll be out a lot sooner than most of the guys in max. Whip and Mark are looking at 5-7 years … Elery and I made some plans for when I get out. I’m still thinking about living in Summerside for a few months … Jim’s downstairs talking to himself. We’re all getting a bit crazy, I guess …
A most enjoyable day this one. This morning I got a calendar in the mail which lists all the courses available by correspondence from every college in Ontario that offers these courses. That’s exactly what I was looking for. One of them offers a technical writing certificate entirely by correspondence. Unfortunately it requires the use of the internet and [Supervisor] the asshole will not allow that. I also got a letter from a college in Sherbrooke, Quebec which tells me about a certificate program offered at the university there. I’ve written for more information. Living in a French city is appealing to me.
After reading my mail I was unable to sleep so I wrote a 700 word story about a typical day in jail which I plan to send to The National Post and perhapsReaders Digest. I think it’s pretty good … At lunch they served me 2 day old leftover chicken legs. I should have said something about that shit. But I just took it and gave it to Whip. Instead, I ate four Jello and pissed all afternoon. That stuff goes right through me. …
This afternoon I had a meeting / session with the psychiatrist who works for corrections. I wasn’t expecting this. Apparently my mother thinks I’m crazy and asked him to talk to me. But I didn’t mind talking to him. He seemed like a nice enough guy, Sputs brother. He asked about the letters I’ve written and how the jail has reacted to them. I think he saw my point that I’m being punished unreasonably for speaking out. He told me that he would talk to [Supervisor] the asshole about this. I’m interested in hearing what he has to say. I also asked about taking an IQ test and he said he just received a new one and I will be able to take it. I’m looking forward to see the results from that … Jolene walked by while I was talking and waved and said hi so I guess she still loves me. Now I must talk her into staying in PEI till I get out in March.
Ya, the psychologist also told me if I would be able to get a TA for treatment. I hope so … Elery is leaving tomorrow. So I called Ann and she said it’s ok if he drops by, so if all goes well I’ll be quite happy next weekend. Jason is also back in our unit. Apparently, he got some pills and freaked out at Gordie. It’s too bad he wouldn’t share them with us but he’s always been tight with his drugs … so everything seemed to go well today. Hope the weekend is the same.
Well it was a pretty good weekend, all in all, it went by fast. Elery left yesterday. He wasn’t a bad guy, after all. I heard he was seen at the liquor store in Summerside when it opened that morning … tomorrow, it will be just me, Jason and James. I don’t know if I’ll like that. James talks too much and always wants to watch movies. At least I won’t have to listen to him and Jim talk about selling drugs any more. Jim knows nothing about being discrete, unfortunately …
I finished the French course today. I spent all evening and half the afternoon working on it. Well, it kept me busy anyway. I never even had time for a nap … I showed the story I wrote to Jason and Mark and they both said it was good. Guess I will send it to the Post and Readers Digest, maybe even The Guardian. I would love to see it published …
I also wrote 13 letters to various colleges in Ontario for information about correspondence courses and Mark told me that Sherbrooke is mostly English so I’m very interested in that. Only 90 minutes from Montreal, too. I’ll have to get right to work when I get out …
I also plan to appeal my parole decision tomorrow and re-apply to the detox’s in Charlottetown and Summerside. It’s all downhill from here, 130 more days. I’m going to apply for a Christmas pass as well. I doubt that I’ll get it (not if [Supervisor] the asshole is involved in the decision) but it’s free to ask. I’ll have to talk to Sputs brother about that. Maybe he can help.