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| 1999 Jail Diary #1 |
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I was just listening to Burton Cummings and Randy Bachman on TV. It was fucking great. Everything went well today. My mother called today and said that she was talking to Paul M. and he confirmed that he will accept me for another program. So, using that information I wrote a four page letter to the Parole Board explaining why I think their decision is unfair. I think it’s a really good letter and may help to get me out sooner, maybe even in December. At least I’ve got something to focus on …
Jolene was in church. She still loves me. And she was looking good tonight. She is a pretty girl. I can’t wait to get her alone.
… Jim got remanded again in court today, for a week. The prosecutor is now asking for 9 ½ years, quite a stretch. I don’t think he’ll get that much but I don’t think he’ll get off as easy as he expected either. It’s some serious charges he’s up on. I don’t think he realizes how serious.
James got sent to medium today so for a while it was just me and Jason. I kinda liked it that way but then Jim came back, and tomorrow Marc and Lorrie want to move over. Things are constantly changing. I won’t mind having them in here. It might help for when I get out …
Jason seems pretty down lately. I thought he might be on valium, but now I think it’s depression, probably cause he fucked up on his chances for parole. I hope he snaps out of it. It’s a hard way to do time like that. Myself, I haven’t wasted any time feeling sorry for myself. I try to take things easy. Someday this will all be behind me and everything will be alright.
I got my appeal all ready. Added a few more paragraphs too for the coup de grace or whatever. I’m feeling pretty good about it. It just might get me out in December …
I got pissed off at Jim today. He doesn’t like Burton Cummings so he didn’t think I should watch it either. I did watch it but he put me in a bad mood so I didn’t enjoy it as much as I should have. I’m getting sick of Jim, always whining about how long he’s been here. I’ve been here twice as long and I’m not whining about it. And I can’t tell him anything. He runs out of money and he calls Dave, expecting that arsehole to drop off $300 bucks. Of course, Dave doesn’t show up and then he calls Rubin. Of course he’s broke too. He’s a total fuck-up. I can’t understand how he doesn’t see this. He’s got a lot to learn yet. …
We had meatloaf for supper and it was pure fucking garbage. I dream of Kentucky Fried. Jai reve de poulet fried de Kentucky. We finished the second batch of French tapes and now I’m waiting for the next one. … one of the guards just came in and took Jason’s chair. The same guy did the same thing last night. Weird …
Draft of Appeal Letter:
I would like to appeal the decision to revoke my parole which was rendered on September 8, 1999. There are several reasons for this appeal:
I was told by my Parole Office, Louis B., that I should not present another treatment option at my hearing (see page 2 of “Assessment for Decision”). I understood that what was to be decided was whether my parole would be revoked, or terminated (as I had hoped).
However, at the hearing on Sept. 8, I learned that treatment was still an option. I feel that I was not given the opportunity to properly prepare for this hearing. I had been told by Paul M. at Prince County Addictions that I would be accepted fro another program. I could have had a written statement from Mr. MacKenzie to present at my hearing had I known that this option would be considered. (On Monday, Nov. 1, Mr. MacKenzie again confirmed with my mother that he would accept me for a program, although the Half-way house in Summerside is closed to any and all parolees).
It is stated in the “Assessment for Decision” that there is a linkage between my use of illicit drugs and criminal activity. I agree with this statement. However, I did not consume any illicit drugs. I did drink two beers. I realize that I should not have been drinking, however, I don’t feel that it is fair to make the assumption that my consumption of alcohol would lead directly to the use of cocaine or heroin and then to criminal activity. This, I feel, is a stretch of the imagination. What is proven though is that after 20 years of drug abuse, I began to get treatment on February 1, 1998. Since that time I have been free of drugs or alcohol with the exception of this incident and one other in October of 1998. At that time, I consumed a small amount of phenobarbitol, which is a drug used in treatment centers to reduce craving. It is not a street drug and does not, in my opinion, to my knowledge, produce a “high”. Because phenobarbitol is a prescription drug and it was not prescribed to me, I was discharged from Talbot House, and as a result, my conditional sentence was revoked. I don’t mean to downplay these incidents but I have learned that a relapse can be turned into a positive thing if the knowledge gained from that relapse is used to prevent another. I feel that I have made significant progress since entering into treatment and it frustrates me that even though I have made many positive changes in my life, the mistakes I have made seem (in the eyes of the law) to outweigh what I have done right. Addiction is not an easy disease to overcome. It is a constant battle but I feel that I have made many good decisions in the past 2 years. My family is still supportive and, I believe, agrees with me that being warehoused in Sleepy Hollow is not the answer. I have been here for more than twelve months. All my urine tests have been negative. I have been involved in AA here and have even chaired some meetings. There is very little treatment available here. I fail to understand how the decision to revoke my parole with a further three months incarceration does anything to deal with my addiction.
In the NPB [National Parole Board] Post Release Decision Sheet it states that “substance abuse remains an untreated risk factor”. It seems illogical that, although treatment is needed and available, I would be denied access to it. It also states that “it is unfortunate that a treatment option was not advanced for consideration”. As I said before, a treatment option was available. But I was not told beforehand that I would have the option to present an alternative plan.
In conclusion, I feel that there is enough information to justify a review of the decision to revoke the parole. What I would like to see is that my remission be recredited as an opportunity given to attend a program at Prince County Addictions .
Sincerely,
R. MacDonald
I also asked about getting a T.A. to the library and she wouldn’t even consider it. Fucking bitch, I hate her. So I wrote a letter about it to Verna, Herb Dickinson, and Wes MacAleer. Except for Verna’s letter, I sent them to a lawyer so I’ll know they got out. I probably won’t ever get a response but it’s worth a try. I was telling Mark and Laurie about all the letters I’ve written and they were amused. I’d like to see them come to our unit but so far, no go. … I finished my appeal and got it sent out. Brian S. says there’s no way I’ll win but I’m still hopeful. I think I have a good argument. …
Jolene was working the kitchen this morning. I guess they’re having trouble getting any help there. I don’t know why anyone would work for those bastards for free. Fuck them … George M. came to max from lock-up. Wade beat him up and god knows he deserved it. We made sure that he wouldn’t be going to our unit. Caroll over there freaked out at some kid who wouldn’t shut his mouth. We knew that was coming. I’ll be surprised if he can put up with George … Jim got his money after all. Suprisingly, Dave came through. I bought him a pack of cigarettes anyway. I hate to see anyone go without smokes. … I got mine free. [tuber] today. I’m amazed they feel for that.
[Guard 3] wants me to write a letter for him to see if he can get a bag of dogfood. [Guard 3] left his National Post here last night and one of the guards ran off with it. That pisses me off. Why can’t the guards buy their own paper and leave something for the inmates? Fucking bastards. I received another copy of [Janine]s separation agreement today. I’m not apposed to separation but I’m not comfortable about signing this thing till I get out. She’s not gonna be happy to hear that, but so what, fuck her …
It was a bad day in the kitchen. The dreaded egg sandwich for lunch and chicken legs or what was supposed to be pork chops at night. Bastards.
Mike C. is back here. It’s almost like a reunion; all the guys who were here last winter are coming back. [Terrence] is on his way back too. Hope he brings an arsehole full of pills.
… my mother was in today and it was a pleasant visit. I asked her to get me a subscription to either the Chronicle Herald or the Toronto Star. I’ve been told I can’t have a subscription but I want to see what happens when they start arriving in the mail. If they won’t give them to me they are going to have to store them for me and they will take up a lot of room … Sput gave me a Toronto Sun and [Guard 3] gave me a National Post this evening so with those and my puzzles I am sure to have something to do all weekend.
Paul M. is also coming to see me tomorrow and I hope to hear that he will indeed take me for a program. I will have to fax that info to the parole board if so. I was asking [nurse1] the bitch about going to a dentist as I have a sore tooth. She tells me that I may have to go in hand cuffs and shackles. I would not consider this as it would be degrading.
They’re still fucking me around here about the French. Again they said I can’t take it back to my cell. But guys who are studying for their GED’s are allowed to study in their cells. It seems that they have a separate rule just for me. No surprise there. So I called the Human Rights Commission. George wasn’t in but the lady I was talking to says it doesn’t sound right to her. She’ll be getting back to me on Monday.
I can’t wait to see that fucking giant bitch [Counselor] have to back down. Ha ha ha they’ll be sorry they fucked with me … I finished my letter to Matt Campbell. Now, I just have to find a guard to get it out for me. Shouldn’t be a problem. I wrote a letter for [Guard 3] so he can get some free dog food. He gave me his Post and a Halifax Paper today so with my paper and the book of crossword puzzles I’m all set for the weekend.
On Monday, Mark and Lorrie are moving over here. It should be alright having them around. Mark can help me with the French. And he likes to play scrabble too. I need some competition. I almost always beat Jason. Sometimes, I find myself holding back cause I don’t want to beat him too badly … I miss playing Scrabble with Tyler, he really got into it. … Jolene has been working in the kitchen the past few days but I haven’t really been able to talk to her. I look forward to seeing her on Monday cause Elsey picked up my package should be in this weekend. Yabba-dabba-doo
Scam Letter to Purina for a guard
Dear Sir:
I recently purchased a 20 lb bag of Purina dog food. I have been buying this brand regularly for the past few years because … well, Sparky just loves the stuff. However, when I opened this bag, I noticed a strong smell and odor and Sparky will not eat it. I would have returned it to the store where I purchased it, but I picked it up while on a shopping trip to Moncton, NB, and I am living in Prince Edward Island. I don’t like to complain but I have had to buy another bag because my dog won’t eat it. I will continue to buy Purina but I would like you to know that I am disappointed that I have wasted my money on what was obviously defective product.
Sincerely,
[Guard 3] C. and Sparky
Letter to the Radio Station
Dear Sir:
I am an inmate of the PCC (Provincial Correction Center). To date, I have served 12 ½ months of a 24 month sentence. I have had many troubles in dealing with the management here in that time, and I am writing to you in hopes that you can publicize some of the inmates problems, and bring it to the public’s attention how we are being (mis)treated. Whenever I have had a problem in the past that could not be resolved to my satisfaction by management. I have taken my complaints outside by writing to various government officials. In most cases, I have not received any response. It seems that nobody wants to get involved. The only result of my writing these letters is that I have been placed on some sort of institutional blacklist. And as PEI does not have an Ombudsman, it appears that I am on my own. There is no person to whom we can turn for help.
I would like to explain some of the situation I am bothered by. Since I have so much free time I thought it would be to my advantage to try and better my education. In December of last year, I asked my mother to drop off some Sociology textbooks and addiction (AA) literature. To date, I have not been allowed to have access to these materials. I haven’t received any explanation other than that it is the centres policy. I am not allowed to have books (educational or fiction), magazines, newspapers, or even crossword puzzles brought in. I can see no logical education? [reason] for this prohibition other than to punish me. But the more I complain, the harder it is for me to get anything. For example, for the past 6 weeks, I have been trying to teach myself French. The teacher here, John Bradley, has obtained some learning materials from the Department of Education. I am grateful for this but now that I have gotten a basic understanding of the language I thought that it would benefit me if I were able to go to the Confed[eration] C. Library to view and select from their materials. I asked for permission to have a French language newspaper brought in (the benefit of a newspaper is that it is written at a grade school level and features articles of general interest and current events). The casework supervisor, [Counselor] K, promptly denied both requests. * She was not even willing to discuss this with me. I feel that neither of my requests were unreasonable and I told her so. That was yesterday. Today I have been told again that I can not have a French newspaper, and also that my access to French materials has been further restricted. Till now, I have have been using it in the library (one hour a day, five days a week is all I am allowed), and taking it back to my cell on the weekend (this is when I get most of my studying done). Now I am no longer allowed to have access to it. In the library, one hour – day. This is not adequate but I’m at a loss as to what I can do about it. Even some of the guards have told me (presumably) that I am being ‘fucked around’ but none of them are willing to side with an inmate because it could cause problems for themselves. I have written to Wes MacAleer but I know from past letters written to him that nothing will be done. What I would like to see happen that you would discuss this on your call-in program and perhaps ask your listeners what their opinions are about whether inmates should be denied access to education, and if being sent to jail and separated from our families and society is punishment enough or should we also be punished while we are here?
I cannot understand how society benefits from quashing my desire to learn French in a bilingual country such as Canada. It seems that in here we are expected to sit around watching TV or playing cards all day but an attempt to better oneself is actively discouraged. I can see that rehabilitation is given a very low priority here. Even AA meetings are seen as a privilege, with access granted only to the minimum and medium units. Obviously, the majority of inmates here, whether in max,medium or min have problems with drugs and alcohol and many are here directly as a result of their addictions.
To deny access to Alcoholics Anonymous does not make any sense to me. Not only that but we are not even allowed to have AA lit[erature]. I am completely baffled by the attitude of the administration towards rehabilitation (It may interest you to know that in 1999, two inmates, George M. and Jessie F., have died of drug overdoses within weeks of being released from here.
Another problem here is strip searches. Inmates are strip-searched on an almost daily basis. One inmate was even strip-searched when returning from a visit with a minister! I have been told by inmates who have been told that this sort of harassment does not happen in the Federal system (It was, in fact, a major cause of the riot at Kingston Pen in 1971). Having contact with the family in the community, with treatment programs outside the institution, access to educational institution would, in my opinion, be beneficial in re-integrating an inmate into society. The only way to get a pass from here is if a faily member dies and even then getting a pass is difficult (and the inmate is kept in handcuffs at the wake or the funeral). I fail to see how just letting us sit around watching tv does anything to help prevent an individual from returning to criminal activity. Given this, you would think that education would be encouraged. But that isn’t the case here.
Well, I could write pages and pages about the injustices committed on the inmates. But I hope I have given you enough information for the time being. I would be interested in talking to you personally but that would be difficult as your are prohibited from contacting the media. This letter, I have asked one of the guards to sneak out for me. Thanks for listening. I hope that you are able to help. God knows that we need it.
Sincerely,
Jolene was working there this evening so I got to talk to her for a few minutes. I’ll have to get her to lean over so I can see her tits. Heh heh heh.
I called home tonight. I was asking them to call George R. and maybe dad’s lawyer about the French fiasco. They may be meeting with Wes MacAleer to discuss it with him. I think he’s a pinhead but maybe it’ll do some good. I was talking to [Janine], Steven and [Valerie]. I hope I can get out to see them in December. I hope Jolene and I end up in that same program in Summerside in January too.
… I still have 2 papers saved for tomorrow so everythings all right this weekend …
… I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow with the French and the Human Rights people. I hope the asshole and giant bitch have to back down. Assholes. I hate them both.
… As of today, I have served 375 days out of 500 or 75% of my sentence. I’m in the last quarter and time is passing quickly. But if I win my appeal, I’ll only have 28 days left. That’s easy.
Mark and Lorrie moved over here today. It’s a good unit we have now. Jim’s getting sentenced tomorrow and, in my opinion, it doesn’t look good. They’re asking 9 ½ years and the article in today’s paper wasn’t very positive … Sherrie asked Jim, Jason and I if we wanted to be treated for scabies. Jim decided to do it, but not me and Jason, although Jim saved me a bit which I may rub on my itchy arse … Zack fucked up with the pills. We may get them on Wednesday though. I can’t get hold off Ann yet but I’d like to set something up again. I should get a message to Dennis too and see what’s going on. Doesn’t hurt to ask … the guy preaching in church tonight was a real wingnut, telling us muslims are terrorists (probably true) and that they practice voodoo. Some of those guys are right out of it … Jodi got back today. But they’ve got her locked in the female unit alone cuz they think she was stoned. Assholes. Paul M. sent in my letter this morning. It’s been faxed to Ottawa so all I can do is wait. Even if I can just take the program before I get out I’ll be satisfied. Might as well do it on their time, not mine.
Jim got sentenced to six years yesterday, no, he didn’t fare very well. He’ll have to do at least a year before he gets parole. But that might allow me to get a head start. I don’t mean to be opportunistic but …. I moved to the organized crime table in the kitchen. I can’t handle sitting there with George. He’s such an idiot, I had to move … Mark tells me that his brother in Montreal knew Mike, now I might be able to find out what happened … things are looking good for Mark, Lorrie and Neil. I guess the cops fucked everything up so they might get off … I heard from the Human Rights Board today but they say there isn’t anything that they can do although they will pass on my complaint to the director of corrections … probably a waste of time, but … we’ll see …
A holiday. We didn’t have to get up for breakfast and we didn’t have to see the asshole or the giant bitch. That’s whats good about holidays and weekends … it was snowing pretty heavy today. It always seems more cozy to me inside when its snowing out. I guess this isn’t that bad of a place to spend the winter … the pills arrived today. We got em through the kitchen. There were 4 oxy-codone and 8 other things which I was unable to identify by looks or by the buzz. They weren’t much good but the OC are good. We’re saving three till we can get a [rig?] Oh how we missed getting high. It’s so pleasant … I wrote a letter for [Guard1]s wife. We haven’t sent it yet. Before we do we’ll have to find out where she works. We got the goods on that bastard. Ha ha ha ha he’ll be sorry he fucked around with me.
… I also wrote out (neatly) my letter / article for the Post. They asked for submissions of no more than 800 words and mine comes to 785. Perfect. I hope they’ll print it. I washed myself with the scabie juice today. I don’t really think I have them but I did it anyway just in case. A lot of the guys are itchy lately. If it ain’t scabies, I don’t know what it is.
I’m a-feeling good tonight. We snorted the new painkillers, oxy-contone, and got a pretty good buzz. I love this feeling. It’s so peaceful and relaxing. Must now make plans to get more. … I was talking to mum and dad this evening. They’ve got it all fucked up as usual.
I asked dad to talk to Matt Campbell at CBC about how the inmates are mistreated but instead he tells him about how I fucked up my parole and my conditional sentence. So he’s not interested in doing a story. If I want something done I gotta do it myself but that’s not easy from in here. And mum still hasn’t done anything about getting me a newspaper subscription. I’ve already asked her about a half dozen times. I hate depending on them to get something done. It’s just too frustrating. … we figured out what the mystery pills were – Ritalin. I didn’t really enjoy the high though – but, I hear that they’re good with Talwin. If I could get a bunch of pills in here, the time would go so fast, I’d be out before I knew it. As it is I’m down to 117 days and I can’t stop counting.
Lorrie got a look at Jolene’s mom today and I guess she’s a real beast. I’ll have to be careful with that girl. But I hope they don’t make fun of her about her family. There’s no good in being mean. Jolene’s always been nice to us. I’m starting to feel sorry for her. I can see why she didn’t want to live with her mother. But there’s gotta be a better place for her than jail …
We’ll we gotta read some more of War & Peace. I’m getting tired of it. I wanna finish it so I can read some other stuff.
This should be the last notebook I use in here as there are now only 115 days left or less if I win my appeal. I wonder how long it will be before I get the results of that. I’m not really expecting to win, but as Santa would say, there’s always hope.
… there was a cop here today to interview me about the complaint I made against the asshole in Montague who seized the Mazda. Fucking prick. I told him my side of the story so now I want to see what happens … George M. got moved to minimum. He wasn’t very well liked around here. I heard from George that he called the cops on Wade after he got the beating. As Whip would say, what a goof.
There’s only 8 of us in max now. It hasn’t been this quiet in a long time. But we don’t seem to be getting much extra food in the kitchen anymore. That used to be one of the good points of max. I don’t know if [Guard1] had anything to do with that but he sure fucked things up around here during his 3 month reign. And it wasn’t just the inmates but he was spying on the guards as well. I think there were 6 guards who got transferred out of here after he left …
Jimmy C. got some pills in this morning. He got right out of it and didn’t share with us. That too, pissed me off. I don’t want to see somebody walking around stoned if they’re not going to offer me any … Jason and I are some progress on our package. Looks like I’m going to take the visit because Jason can’t get a special visit until he gives a clean urine test and he’s dirty … we played some Scrabble today and I stomped ‘em. I’m unbeatable …
This morning I found some Pokemon cards in the cereal box. I was amused by that – I didn’t expect something like that in here. I’m going to mail them to [Pauline]. She’ll like them. I’m going to have to write letters to all the kids and Zeke too.
Uh … hmmm .. I’ll be getting a visit from Heidi Saturday. Should be interesting. Mark’s friend is going to do some running around for us tomorrow. Hope all goes well … Jolene says she might be getting an early release. I wonder what that’s all about … it’s mighty cold outside lately. I’ve been staying inside … tomorrow’s visiting day. I suppose my mother will be in. Must find out why she’s been calling the jail.
Anne took care of what I wanted. We’ve got a small package stashed in the visiting room (max) which I hope somebody can get for us tomorrow. And everything looks to be coming together for Saturday’s visit. All that left is for me to get the ok. But that might involve the giant bitch so I’m not sure what will happen. I’m looking forward to meeting this girl too. … the new nurse here has apparently been telling Cindy (who told my mother) that I’m on too much medication. I’ll have to mention that. …
… but unfortunately, things just don’t seem to be working out for us on the outside. We’ve got four people working for us and they can’t all seem to get together. I was looking forward to my special visit tomorrow but it seems it will have to be delayed. That is, if I can get it approved. For that, I have to talk to Bubba tomorrow morning …
Jason and I split 3 D’s and gave one away (I think that was a good public (criminal?) relations move. I hope he remembers when he gets out … we decided that I just don’t want to move to medium. Unless, I have to in order to get a Christmas pass or treatment T.A. … I’m content in this unit here and we all get along well. The days seem to be going by rather quickly (110 left now). Soon, I’ll be on the front page of the remission sheet, yahoo ….
I had another run-in with [nurse] today. I said to her, “I hear that the word around Hillsborough Hospital is that I’m taking way too much medication and that I’ll never make it when I get out”. She just turned her head and started talking to someone else. What a fucking bitch. I hope her husband beats her tonight. And then I said, “that’s a beach of confidentiality isn’t it?”, so she snaps at me, “I don’t work at Hillsborough Hospital”. What a stupid reply. I said, “Well aren’t you the head nurse here?” Then she said, “I don’t want to talk about this right now, go sit in the phone room and wait for me”, but as soon as she finished giving out the pills, she says, “I’m late for a meeting. I’ll talk to you later”. That was enough shit for me so I asked to call the Nurses Association to make a complaint. Of course, they stalled, [Counselor] said I wasn’t allowed to call, but I got Sput to ask [Supervisor], the arsehole, and he allowed me to make the call. I called and gave them the basic details and I was told that the nurse in charge of discipline will call me on Monday. I’m hoping that someone will get fired over this and that I cause much grief for that sick old cunt [nurse].
She came back to talk to me this afternoon and went on like she had no idea what I was talking about either. What this other nurse did didn’t bother her at all – she was only interested in covering her own wrinkly old ass. Fuck, I hate her so much. When she was giving out the meds this afternoon, I asked her if she realized that the meds were supposed to be given out right after lunch and not at 2:05. She said she was busy making phone calls (more lies designed to absolve her of blame, no doubt). She needs to get it through her stupid ugly old hag head that the inmates well-being comes first. Hopefully, I can straighten that out with the Association (and she’s fucking around with Jimmy C. meds again trying to have him cut off. I hope he goes off and beats the hell out of her). I’m going to ask the Nurses Association if they would send someone out to talk to the inmates …
Jason beat me at Scrabble today. I was kinda glad to see him win because I almost always win … Sandy didn’t come to see me today. I’m a little disappointed at that, as I was wanting to get started on the IQ tests. I’d like to know how smart I really am. Obviously, I’m much more intelligent than those that are running this place … I’ve decided to give up on getting any help here at learning French. I’ve only been able to get to the library once in the past [week]. I can’t get any learning done like that. I’ll just have to work on it with Mark.
Someday my story will get to the general public. Anyway, tonight I’m going to stay up late and enjoy the buzz. And I’ll cross my fingers and toes that everything falls into place tomorrow. There’s always hope, as Santa would say …
Bubba wouldn’t let me have my visit. That’s disappointing. Not just because I won’t get a package but I was looking forward to meeting Heidi. Oh well. I think the problem is that the guards don’t want to get involved with me because they’re scared that if they fuck up I’ll expose them. So Reggie’s requests get turned down. Be careful with Reggie, already, the news is all through the building that I called the Nurses Association. Oh how I hate that fucking bitch … anyway, all of our well laid plans seem to be falling apart. But it may all work out through the visits tomorrow. There’s always hope … I felt weird today, I guess because of the D’s yesterday. I get the feeling that I will have to be extra careful around pills because it would be real easy for me to get addicted again. Approach with caution.
I slept most of the day and I’m still tired. I’ll probably wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to get back to sleep … one thing I’ve discovered while being here is that I like Blue Rodeo. I must pick up some CD’s when I get outta here. I have much catching up to do … I hope to finish War & Peace tomorrow. There’s only 100 pages left and I’m really tired of it. Also, I have a few good books just lying around waiting to be read.
Well, I got a call from the Nurses Association. They want me to put my complaint in writing. And maybe they’ll do something. They also said that they never received the last letter I sent (about 2 months ago) and they didn’t get Frankie’s letter either. This place is so fucking crooked. And Sput told me that [Counselor], the giant bitch, chewed him out for letting me call the Nurses Association.
I also called a lawyer today, Paul M., to see if he can do something about the restriction of access to educational materials. It might cost me some money but it’s worth it if I can make them back down. But I suppose that will eliminate the possibility of me getting a Christmas pass or a T.A. for treatment. I won’t let that bother me though … I notice that all the guards seem to be on my side. I guess everybody hates [nurse1], it’s no wonder. I hope her husband beats the shit out of her tonight, she deserves it.
… Went to church tonight. They had some guys in to sing some songs and I actually liked one of their songs, “mold me”, too bad it’s a god song, cuz I’ll never hear it again. I was talking to Jolene after. I won’t be surprised if she’s in again for breach of probation before I get out. Oh well, it’s her life. After that it was a boring evening. I’m getting tired of the monotony. I think that I need a change, maybe by going to medium or getting some dope and staying here … hopefully the latter … I wrote letters to Steven, [Valerie] and [Pauline], and Zeke too.
I sent the Pokemon cards and Cadburys coupon. It only takes a few minutes to write a letter but it means a lot to them. Wish I were there …
... has quit her job and apparently her plan for the future is to get stamps and draw pogey. ... I guess in Souris that’s normal!
The girls weren’t allowed to go to church tonight, apparently because they stayed too long last week. I guess they have to put up with a lot of shit too.
[Counselor] hasn’t been answering my requests so I filled one out today that said, “I’m a woman in a mans body and I want to be transferred to the female unit” (I got this from a story in the paper about a guy in the pen who got a transfer because he’s getting a sex change). That should get her attention. I get a kick out of tormenting her because its so easy to pull her strings. She’s so predictable.
… I got a letter from Jimmy (we all did except for Whip) he says the food is really bad over there. I also got my complaint forms from the Nurses Union. I’m waiting till tomorrow to fill it out because I requested to see the doctor and I want to see if she allows me to see him. If not, we got something else to add to my complaint. I hate that fucking bitch. If murder was legal, I’d take my place in line to kill her … I also got a letter from the parole board telling me that it will be 3 or 4 months before they make a decision (by which time I’ll be out anyway). What good is that? Another bunch of assholes I have to deal with …
… we all (except Whip) got letters from Jimmy. He says the food is really bad over there. I might be able to sue the bitch, and I’d really enjoy that.
I asked [nurse] for the other nurses name and she refused to give it to me. She looked at Bubba and said, “lock him in his unit. I have nothing further to say to him.” So I added that remark to my complaint and I got the name from Bubba. The next time I see her I’m going to ask for her registration number. That should piss her off. I think I’m finally going to get that cunt. Revenge is sweet.
If the Nurses Association sides with me, I’ll be suing … I also had a talk with [Counselor] about the policies, and why my letters aren’t getting out, and [nurse1]’s attitude. I don’t know if I got anywhere but I had her on the defensive.
After that I talked to Sandy. I enjoy meeting with him because he’s an intelligent and reasonable man. What doesn’t make sense to me doesn’t make sense to him either. We’re going to do the personality test on Monday and possibly the IQ test on Friday … Jimmy C, went to court today. He’s not getting sentenced ‘till Monday but he says he’s getting 4 ½ years. I think he should get another 6 months for ripping me off on the valium. I’ll be glad to see him gone. … Rob W. came in today on a parole violation. He says his girlfriend saw him with another girl so she called his parole officer and said he was drinking. Sounds like a bitch to me. I hope he tells her to fuck off … tomorrow is Saturday. The weeks are really going by fast lately. I’ve only got about 14 left now. 104 days.
What a long boring day this was. I’m so glad it’s over. Candace locked my door. She’s nice and pretty. I wonder why someone like her would want to work in a place like this. But I’m glad we do have some good looking women working here, don’t get me wrong … I’ve got a bit of a problem now that I’d like to sue some drugs, but I’d like to stay clean in case there’s a chance I could get a Christmas pass. Next week will be December and I will have to investigate the possibility of getting a pass. I’d love to spend Christmas with the kids. ...
… I wrote a letter to Santa Claus (the ones they print in the newspaper). I hope they’ll let the letter go out. … Tomorrow is visiting day and Anne says she’ll come out. If not I’m going to give up on trying to get her out … Rob says he had some H for me a few months ago. I’m not sure whether I believe him or not, but he says his brother is coming home again for Christmas and may bring some more. That sure would be sweet. So sweet.
I’m so glad this weekend is over. It was so long and boring. I think this was because nobody brought us in any newspapers and because there was nothing on A&E or the Learning Channel all weekend. Also Anne didn’t show up today. I think I’ll just have to give up on that idea. It’s not worth the frustration. Anyway, I guess I should try to stay clean ‘till Christmas so I can try to get a pass, though it will be no surprise if I don’t get one, especially, now that [Supervisor] the asshole I in charge. Probably the only way I’ll get a package in is to go out and get it myself … one good thing that happened is that I finally got Whips money to him. It was no big deal but I don’t like owing money … I think I also got some Quaaludes lined up for when I get out of here. Sweet …
I called Brian S. to ask for suggestions on how to get my appeal appeal reviewed faster. He suggested I get my case worker to call so I talked to [Counselor] about that and I think I shall do it. I’m also writing a letter and sending the letter from the Detox and a letter from the jail saying what my release date is. I don’t know if this will help me but it is certainly worth a try. I also filled out an application for a Christmas T.A. I think I should get it but one never knows … it looks like Rob may be getting fucked by the parole office. They think his girlfriend is lying to cover up for him, more details tomorrow …
Jimmy C. got five years today. He said in court that he owed money to a drug dealer and thought he was going to be killed. The guys here weren’t happy to hear that … I was at the library working on my French. I realized that I’m coming along well. I can listen to the tapes and understand what they’re saying without looking at the book, that’s progress …
I called Kevin Lannigan about getting the 240 done. He’s still not sure if Mark’s going to be working with him so everything is up in the air …
Jolene says that they searched the female unit and found all my letters. I haven’t heard anything yet but there was some explicit sexual content there. [Counselor] didn’t mention it though when I was talking to her today. I finally finished War & Peace. I’m reading Serpentine [by Thomas Thompson] now. It’s very good.
Another month has come to an end. Time is getting short (he says with a smile). If I can stay in this unit, I can finish my time easy, I’ve got a good routine and the days are passing easily. I sleep ‘till noon, get up and shower or wash my hair, go to lunch. After lunch, I go to the library for an hour, after which, I can go outside for an hour, or sit in the unit and enjoy peace and quiet while everyone else is outside. Then, I read the paper and do the crosswords. After that I read The Post (if [Guard 3] brings it in) or take a nap ‘till supper. After supper, I watch the news and then read for a while or take a nap, an later finish the day with some t.v., usually Investigative Reports. We all like the same kind of shows on t.v. and Much More music. There’s no kids in our unit and we’re all here for a long time. I’d almost give up the Christmas pass if it meant I had to go to medium. Almost, that is, but I’d like to be home for Christmas …
I was going to give up on Anne but I called today and she said she’d come out Thursday. I’m hopeful but perhaps gullable. It’s not that important to me to have drugs. I can take ‘em or leave em, but I wan’t to get fucked up for the holidays, especially New Years, the millennium. What a place to be on that night. Calice! …
I sent out six letters this afternoon, Bubba said, “we all have different ways of passing time”, ha ha. He’s not a bad guy for CO3. Anythings an improvement over [Guard1]. I wrote to Algonquin [College] and Sherbroooke for info on their Technical Writing programs. I already wrote to Sherbrooke but I never got a reply. I sent in a letter to the parole board asking them to speed things up. I sent a letter to the World Wildlife Fund asking for info on adopting a polar bear. I want to do that for Steven or [Pauline]. It would be an unusual but interesting Christmas gift. I’ve picked out gifts for all the kids. The guard thought I was nuts when they read about the polar bear. “I suppose we could keep it out in the bullpen”, Bubba says.
And I also sent my complaints to the Nurses Association – two against [nurse1] and one against [nurse2]. I would have let [nurse2] off but [nurse1] was such a cunt when I asked her about what happened that I just had to go through with it. I hate [nurse1], I despise her. Someday, I’ll spit on her grave …
Brendon was working this evening. I don’t like him, I think he’s a fag. And the pig was drinking a can of Pepsi in front of us … It said in the paper today that Jimmy C. will have serve the full five years, without parole. That is a serious sentence. Charlottetown is probably better off without him though. I have no sympathy for him since he ripped me off on the valium. And I was just sick of the way he was acting like a six year old the past few weeks, and always bumming hash from the other guys.
… as of tomorrow, I’ll be down to 99 days. I’m in the double digits now. I’ve wasted a long time (400 days to be precise) for that. It’s all downhill now. And there’s still a possibility that I can do my last month at the treatment centre.