| Article Index |
|---|
| 1999 Jail Diary #1 |
| February |
| March |
| May |
| June |
| August |
| September |
| November |
| December |
| All Pages |
So now we’re into June. I never thought I’d still be here. Today was Mike’s birthday. I should have called but I didn’t, oh well … I got my typing speed up to 37 wpm. It’s getting better slowly. I’m still making lots of mistakes but at least I’m getting to practice … got my hair cut today too. This guy does a pretty good job …
I glued a blanket to my floor with toothpaste yesterday. The toothpaste is seeping through the blanket and now its stuck all over my socks. But the room seems a little more cozy. I’m going to stay in max for a while cause I’m comfortable here.
Just another day here. It’s disappointing to be missing out on the summer. I’m sure I’ll appreciate it more when I get out … My mother sent me a watch today. She got a new one for me which was nice. Sent some pictures of the kids too. Other than that, it was just another day.
Nothing happened today. Just another long boring day. I gotta get out of this place.
Ah, what can I say. Time is getting so routine. A got my typing speed up to 38 wpm. I’m getting a wee bit faster every week. I miss the internet.
. … if me and Jimmy get something going when I get out, and I think we will, I’m going to make lots of money. That’s something to look forward to. I got an offer I can’t refuse. I tried to go straight but the system won’t let me. So fuck ‘em. I’ll be worse than I ever was when I get out of here, whenever that is.
For now, I’m comfortable here in max. We all get along well, although [Guard1] is going to take over Merles job here next week so I don’t know what will happen then … I sent a letter to Herb Dickinson today to ask if he got my other letter. I tried to call him, but they wouldn’t allow it, same as they wouldn’t let me call the RCMP yesterday, fucking bastards, infidels ….
I haven’t had much to write about these past few days. It’s been so routine, boring. Mum and dad were here to visit yesterday. It was dad’s birthday. I kinda wish they would visit less often cause I just don’t want to hear about the outside world. My time is easier here when I don’t know about who is fucking me around.
… still just the three of us in the unit – me, Larry, and the newfie. Everything’s alright … I’m getting to know Jimmy better. I think he would trust me and we can do something when we get out. I’ve put in a request to [Supervisor] about about applying to St. Eleanors House. I expect that he’ll find some reason to turn me down but I have to try. If they’ll take me, I could be out the week of the 12th of July. If not then it will be the end of August. That seems like a really long time now that the weather has gotten nice. But what’s a guy to do? Just sit and wait?
… I heard that Jesse died of an overdose yesterday. I think that this place ruined her. She’s the second inmate to die of an overdose after leaving here so far this year. I think that says something about rehabilitation (lack of) here. But nothing will change. I’m sure of that.
Tuesdays gone (as Skynyrd would say). Once we get past Monday, the days seem to go by quickly, until Saturday or Sunday.
I got a package from home today with some info about places to stay in Toronto. It seems to be what I’m looking for …
[Supervisor] told me today he would talk to Brian S. about getting me into St. Eloanors House in July. But he might not be so helpful when he receives, I mean reads, the letter I sent to the cops about my mail being tampered with. At least it probably won’t happen anymore. Haha.
I also heard today that Lawrence MacAuley received my letter and personally gave it to the head guy at the RCMP. So there is some hope that I’ll get my money back.
I asked my father to call The Guardian or The Graphic and tell them that 2 people have overdosed shortly after being released from here so far this year and to tell them how resistant they are to my rehabilitation. I really hope to see some sort of story about it in the paper this week or next.
This week is going by slowly. 32 more days till my hearing. I gotta get out of here. And if I do I’d like to go see The Cranberries in Montreal at the end of August and get something set up while I’m there.
… Rueben got sent to the hole again today, caught passing hash to one of the guys. He’s such an idiot.
There’s not many of us left here now, just 6 in max. Tomorrow we get rid of the newfie so just me and Larry here. That’s fine with me. We only have 2 good chairs anyway …
[Guard1] took control of Max today, the new CO3. He’s still as much an idiot as he ever was. Tomorrow he expects us to have our beds made by 9 a.m. so there might be a bunch of us going to the hole. I’m certainly not going to make my bed for that pinhead.
… the other units got searched today but not ours. It was because of a stupid comment that Rueben made that he got 2 ounces in. What a stupid thing to say to a guard that was. Nothing was found though, tomorrow, if I’m not in the hole, I’ll be going to the library to sort out some new books with Georgina. Hopefully, I will get to go for pizza and pop for doing this. That’s what I have to look forward to tomorrow.
This morning I helped to sort out some books at the library, a donation from Father Tingley. We got a lot of good books in. I was hoping to be allowed to go for pizza but I didn’t hear anything about it this afternoon.
When I got back from the library, I found that [Guard1] had searched our unit. He took some clothes, our games, and our Sunshine Girls. And he told me to remove my carpet. I haven’t done this and will not do it so I think we’ll have some sort of confrontation on Monday and I probably won’t be in this unit any more …
I was pissed off at Larry this afternoon cause he was throwing the balls around when we were outside and hit me a couple times and so I stayed inside tonight. They act like a bunch of kids out there …
This afternoon Jimmy and David were caught smoking hash in the unit so they were sent to lockup. Tomorrow we may all be in lockup because they put Carl M., child molester and most hated man in jail, in the left unit and so it is our duty to get rid of him. If he is still here at lunchtime tomorrow we are all going to give him a beating, it’s the right thing to do. It shouldn’t have to come to this but they have provoked the situation and we will have to deal with it or be shunned by the population here. …
I sent a letter to Verna and [Supervisor] saying that we think [Guard1] is an idiot and not suited for this job. I look forward to seeing their reaction to that. I think all they can do is send me to medium.
… also today I reached 40 wpm and I sent a card and 11 skittles to Steven for his birthday. I really wish I could be out for it but its beyond my control.
30 days till the panel … we didn’t get to beat the faggot today. They kept him locked in the left unit, even at lunch, till three and then moved him out. I suppose we saved ourselves a trip to the hole. Some other time I guess. Probably Tuesday when [Guard1] gets back.
He was roaring at me this morning to remove my carpet or I would be charged. I’m not going to move it, so I guess I’ll be charged. Fuck him. I’m going to put in a complaint Monday that he is harassing me. I expect that I’ll end up in medium later this week, probably via the hole. I do like it here but a change would be good. I would like to stay here and torture [Guard1] but I don’t think I’ll get the chance.
But me and Larry made a phone sex ad with a picture of his wife onit and he’s sure to blow up when he sees it. Hope I’m here to see that. I don’t think he’ll handle it well, the fucking pinhead … it’s really hot out this weekend. Too bad we can’t get out more.
The hole
The hole
Got back from the hole today. I went in earlier than expected. Kevin came in my room Sunday night saying he had orders from Sharkey (?) (I think he was lying – not man enough to stand behind his own decisions) had given him orders to have my blanket removed (this is so silly). Being as it was so silly, I asked him for an hour to get it done and proceeded to use this hour to shave half my face, smear toothpaste all over myself and stick toilet paper to myself, stuff a lighter and tobacco up my arse take take my four T3’s.
It wasn’t bad there my first night with a buzz on and cigarettes to smoke, but the second day I got bored so I shit on the floor and used it to write ‘[Guard1] is a poop head’ on the window. All the staff were thoroughly disgusted (I heard that they could smell it in medium) but I was greatly amused. It cost me another day in the hole but I’m sure that my approval rating amongst the inmates has soared. At least, I gave everybody something to talk about and remember me by … I almost got kicked out of jail(!) for it, though.
This morning they wanted to ship me to Summerside but I insisted that it was too far for my family. They relented and I came back to Max. but I did have to clean up my room. I regret nothing though. Larry was gone when I got back – sent to Medium. I’m disappointed about that – I guess they wanted to split us up – bastards, infidels. Alex is here now and a new guy – first time in jail (18 months for impaired driving causing death).
I am thinking about going to Summerside but I wouldn’t want to be stuck there for five months if I didn’t get my parole. I hear that the food is bad there, and it is far from home, although I don’t get many visits anyway. I don’t like it much here in max anymore and I don’t know if I will ever get to medium. Strangely enough though, I feel good about what happened these past few days. I suppose it broke up the monotony.
Today is Stevens birthday (all my kids are a year older since I came in here). I tried, but couldn’t get to talk to him. He wasn’t at [Janine]'s (she rushed me off the phone – kinda rude) and I couldn’t get an answer at home. I hope he got the card that I sent him.
… Our unit is full now. It’s crowded here but the guys are ok …
I got a reply from the RCMP – just a rehash of the last letter.
I was expecting more from Lawrence. I guess I tried anyway. I put in a complaint with the Public Service Commission, so I’ll see what comes out of that – probably nothing … I’m really disappointed that I missed both Steven and [Valerie]’s birthdays. It seems so unfair that I haven’t gotten my parole yet. Nothing I can do though.
This fucking place is so boring. I’ve lost control of the t.v. they want to watch movies all day. I guess I’ll have to start reading more … everyone seems amused that I’ve shaved half my face. I’m not sure what to do with it now.
… Jimmy got sent to the hole again, for having a pipe. I would say he’s not very happy now.
… I got a reply from Herb Dickinson today. He expressed his concerns but didn’t offer to do anything.
Nobody cares about us here. ...Twenty four more days till my hearing …
I’ve reached 41 wpm. Now, I’m wishing I had something else to do on the computer …
[Supervisor] told me that I’m not allowed to get a subscription to the Halifax newspaper. I’ll have to aks why next time I see him, some stupid reason, no doubt … I got a fathers day card from Steven today. They’re coming in to visit tomorrow. I think I’ll keep my half beard just to amuse him. …
Jason got sent to max today so our unit is full now. Eugene is in the other unit. I hope Jimmy doesn’t set something up with him. I’d like to take care of that myself …
Jennifer apparently got married tonight. I guess we’ll never have babies together, oh well …
John told me today that he heard that I might get to medium. Depends on how well I behave so who knows …
My toilet is being used to talk to Jody and the other girls in the female unit. If you empty all the water out you can hear each other clearly so the guys have been in her all day …
Steven and [Valerie] were here to seem me this afternoon. I wish I could get out and spend some time with them. They are great kids. [Valerie] is incredibly cute …
One of the guards brought in some St. John newspapers today, that was a treat for me. The day went by fast with all the papers I had to read and my visit. Tomorrow will be a long day though, it being Sunday …
I was told that Winston was looking for me, that sounds like good news. Jimmy is pissed off with Rueben and Dave, so there’s a good opportunity when I get out, if I get out this summer. I should be able to put together a lot of cash before I go to Toronto. Fuck this poverty shit.
This has been an interesting weekend. I met a girl through the toilet, Barb. I like talking to her. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good conversation with a girl. I miss women. We’ve been talking a lot.
If she didn’t have a boyfriend, I think I’d have some fun when I get out. She told me she’d think about me and masturbate but she’s on her period … after lockup tonight there was 5 or 6 of us talking on the toilets. I really got a kick out of that – Jason had the radio piped in and John and Jolene were arguing, Barb and I were talking and somebody else was making cow noises. It was very funny. I would like to have talked to her all night but I didn’t want to keep everybody up. …
I find that I communicate well with women. That’s something I’ve missed in the past; something to look forward to. [Janine] and I never had very deep conversations. She was fun to be with but we were on a different intellectual level. I really feel good tonight after talking to Barb. Sometimes it’s not so bad being in here. It’s that people you meet who help you get through it. And enjoy it.
First day of summer, and I’m in jail. I was told today that I could go to medium next week, if I behave myself. I suppose it’s possible … I find myself looking forward to the weekend so I can talk to Barb. I guess I’m a lonely guy. I miss women. I can’t wait to get out of here and meet some more of them. I'm adorable. That’s about all for today, three weeks till my parole hearing.
No journal entries.
The past few days have been pretty routine, boring, so I didn’t bother writing anything. Today was a little better. I got a letter from Tyler. Twas good to hear from him. Writing back to him will give me something to do this weekend …
I heard today that my parole hearing is July 16, 3 weeks away. This shit just goes on and on and on …
I thought I had some perks [Slang Terms for OxyContin] but I think Jason fucked me around. I hate it when people get greedy. The good news is that I’ve located several sources of Demerol and meth when I get out. What jail did for me is bring me deeper into PEI’s underworld. I know more about who’s who in drugs on the island than I ever did. And I think I will be able to profit from this information …
Looks like a sure thing that I’ll be going to medium on Monday. I do like it here though. The guys are ok and I can talk to the girls on the weekend. But I have lots of friends in medium too. Time for a change and it looks good on my parole application to be in a less secure unit.
My birthday but I didn’t mention it. It was just another day in this fucking place. I talked to Winston today. He’s going to come in on Sunday. I hope something good comes out of that meeting. At least somebody out there is thinking about me.
… this will be my last weekend in max. Some things I’ll miss, some things I won’t. But at least I’ll get out more and I’ll be able (I think) to go to the barbeque on Tuesday evening, maybe have the kids in … I don’t mind it here too much but I’ll be so fucking good to get out of here.
Three more weeks and I’ll find out when I get out. I hope I don’t lose the whole summer.
Tonight I’m disappointed. I talked to Barb earlier for a few minutes and then she went to sleep and she won’t get up and talk to me. I was looking forward all week to talking to her. But she’ll be gone tomorrow morning so I guess that’s it. Disappointment comes easy in this place … But I might have some better news tomorrow if Winston comes in.
Jimmy and I have talked it over and we can look after him from in here, and I think when we get out we’re going to work together. I can see myself doing well if everything works out like we are hoping it will … nineteen more days to go …
We were watching Monty Python – Meaning of Life, it’s always good for a laugh! But we couldn’t watch it all because of lock up … Winston didn’t show up today. That’s what I really hate about being in jail – you have no control over what others do outside. Now I’ll have to call him again and he comes in Thursday.
… Jim and I have got things worked out pretty good for after we get out. I’m looking forward to doing things with him … I wrote back to Tyler today. He’ll be glad to hear from me. Tomorrow I’m going to medium. I hope I can get in John’s unit, if not there Larry’s.
As of today, I’ve been here eight months … I didn’t get moved today. They’re saying it will be tomorrow. … Winston says he’ll be in Thursday. I hope we can get something going.
I assume this place was built with plans / goals of rehabilitating offenders but that goal seems to have gone to the wayside. It is now nothing more than a warehouse. It has been my experience that attempts at further education are actually discouraged, access to AA is seen as a privilege (not accessible to all inmates) educational activities are severely restricted.
Number of inmates is low, in part because offenders are asking to be sentenced to a federal facility so that they can attempt to better themselves. It is clear to me that changes are necessary of our provincial system is to rehabilitate offenders rather than simply warehouse them
… it’s [Janine]s birthday, but what does it matter? I got moved to medium security yesterday. So far I like it here. I told them I had a problem with one of the guys in the left unit (where they wanted to put me) so they put me in John’s unit, just as I had hoped. Me, John, 2 Terrys, Jeff, Morgan, Steven and David, a pretty good bunch. There’s a lot more room to move around here and it is a quiet unit.
John showed me how to play axis and allies and we played a few games. It’s pretty good though I need a lot of work on my strategy … they say I have to give a piss test to get my outside privileges but I haven’t been given one yet. I guess they have to fuck me around a bit. [Counselor] has already threatened to move me if I cause any trouble or instigate anything. I’m going to write a letter to Lawrence [McAuley] about the urine testing and how it is abused …
John has been prescribed creatine? For his knee by a specialist. This is amusing because of the battle he had with [nurse1] about his suspected creatine abuse. Larry broke his leg (ankle) playing basketball today. I hope I’m able to squeeze a few painkillers out of him. And I found out that Jason scammed me out of a few perks [percoset]. Another guy who can’t be trusted. That’s the ugly side of human nature …. Sixteen days left till my parole hearing.
July 1
Somethings going on here tonight. The guards have been away from the unit for about an hour and we can hear a lot of banging. The urge to wreck the unit is strong but we can’t do that. I would if I wasn’t trying to get the fucking parole. It’s such a pain in the arse trying to be good for parole. I’m happy with the unit though. I had a good time here today for a guy in jail.
John woke me up at 830 and bugged me till I got up and played axes and allies. He beat me twice today. After lockup, we took the game down to his room to play. I like Johns company. He keeps me amused. I wish Larry was in the unit too. He wrote obscenities and insults to the guards all over his cast today (“[Counselor] is a cow, [Counselor] swallows, [Supervisor] is a poophead, Gordie is an inbred”) it’s gonna be funny when they get to see it tomorrow …
Winston was here for a visit this afternoon. Looks like we will get things going again. I think everything is going to fall into place when I get out of here. everything is going to be alright.
Kind of a shitty day for me. This morning I got a letter from Holland College saying that my application has been withdrawn. Then at lunch John freaked out at me for spilling a bit of water on the table. Apparently the man has some sort of phobia or obsessive compulsive disorder. Personally, I just don’t have a lot of respect or esteem for inmates willing to work as slave labourers for this institution. If they refused to do these non paying chores and instead chose to stand behind all those inmates who are getting fucked around, this would be a much better place. That’s my opinion …
This evening John put a bucket of water against my door and flooded my room, ruining all my magazines and some letters. This was a trick that I thought was played only on diddlers and assholes. And later he refused to turn the channel to South Park even though everyone in the unit wanted to watch it, and he was the only one wanting to watch a movie. South Park is the only show I look forward to watching all week and it annoys me to have someone tell me it’s no good and therefore I don’t need to watch it. I suppose the best thing about this day is that, as it ends, I am one day closer to getting out of this fucked-up place.
Another weekend comes to an end. John and I spent the past eight hours playing axis and allies. I’m getting better but I’m not going to win … I got a piss test this morning so I should be allowed outside by Tuesday …. I was at AA tonight – first meeting in a long time. John is Chairman now … nobody came to visit today. I was hoping my mother would show up. Oh, well, twelve more days till my hearing.
No money left for canteen today. I got John to buy some tobacco for me. I’m unable to get an answer at home to ask for money. I suppose they might have been at Biscuit’s funeral … it rained today so I didn’t go out. I think tomorrow I should be able to go out to the field. … John beat me at Axis and Allies twice today. But I am getting better.
Well, two more days have gone by. I got my outside privileges yesterday so I’ve been going out in the evenings. It’s nice to walk on the grass again and see the trees …. Warren is my caseworker now. He seems ok, although a little moody. I finally got a call home yesterday so we got money again. It was almost a crisis. … I spoke to Brian yesterday. The parole hearing has been re-re-scheduled to the 19th and I will get the decision that day, although it seems unlikely that I will get out before the program starts in August.
More of the same today. I hung around with the guys, went outside a couple of times, ate some shitty meals … there’s really not much to say. But it’s now only eleven days till my hearing.
They came up with a new policy here where anybody coming in from outside or back from the kitchen is to be strip searched. Obviously, we’re not happy about this. They treat us like a bunch of animals here. I expect all of the kitchen workers to quit. I’ll be disgusted if they don’t ‘cause we shouldn’t have to put up with this shit. … I called Mike this evening. He hasn’t sold the car yet but he is still trying. And he’ll help me get the 280 [Datsun 280Z] going after I get out. About parole, he says that I should get right away if it is granted on the 19th. I hope that comes true. Anyway, its down to ten days till my hearing …
Another weekend has gone by fairly. Went by fairly well, I’m so accustomed to living in this place. Except Friday, that is. I was pissed off because they wouldn’t let me go for pizza. I don’t know why John B. is such a prick to me. I can’t ask him for help on anything. It seems that there’s no benefit to me to trying to do anything positive or productive around here …..
I was expecting my mother to come in for a visit today but it didn’t happen. I’m only fifty miles away but it may as well be five hundred … rained all weekend so I stayed inside watching tv and playing Axis and Allies. I have yet to win a game of that …..
My parole hearing is now a week away and is now on my mind constantly. John had hoped to have a hearing on the same day but they’re not ready yet. I would have liked to see him get out the same day as myself … probably should give Ann a call next week too. I haven’t talked to her in a while.
I never get around to writing last night. I stayed up late watching tv (that’s the best thing about medium) and was too tired. Not much happened anyway. I was wanting to talk to Jimmy so I asked him to go to Church. I was disappointed when he didn’t show up. And Reuben asked me what I wanted to talk about. Fuck him. He’s not passing messages for me … they’re going to let [Pauline] come to the barbeque, suprising. I’m looking forward to seeing her and the kids. I put in a request for Zeke too but that is unlikely. I also put in a request for [Counselor] to explain the complaint procedures to me, but she sent a message through Warren that “I should know them”. Fucking bitch. I’d like to piss her off but I don’t want to be moved out of this unit. For now, I must bide my time.
I wrote a letter to the Chronicle Herald telling them how [Supervisor] refused to allow me to get a subscription and got the letter smuggled out unopened by the staff. I would like to see someone from Halifax contact me about it. Maybe they’ll give me a free subscription. I’m planning to call one of the reporters at the Guardian tomorrow to see if I can get some attention focused on this place. I think I’ll focus on the drug problems – George and Jessie dying, the girls (Jodi, Jamie, Amber and Tracy) overdosing and trying to kill themselves, and how they are being treated now. Hopefully, the shit is going to hit the fan..
My parole hearing is set for Monday at 10:15, now six days away. Brian doesn’t expect, if I get it, that I will be allowed out before the program starts. I wish that they would let me out if only for a day when Mike is home. As a backup plan, I asked for a T.A, but [Counselor] rejected it before she even received my application. I tried to call the NB Ombudsman about this but they don’t get involved with complaints from PEI. So far, I’ve found no effective way to place a complaint about this place. But it’s not for lack of trying and I’m not about to give up yet.
It was really nice out today. All together, I was out for three hours. I walked twelve laps around the track. I’m going to try to keep that up so that I can lose some weight …. I tried to call Jim D. at the Guardian this evening but he wasn’t home. I’d like to see him put an article in the paper about this place. That would really piss off Verna and company. Sooner or later my story will be told ….
And each day brings me closer to freedom…. Very nice outside today. I was out for three hours, walked twelve laps around the track. Got sore feet for doing that … last night we set up a leaner for Wilfred. It was quite funny. Tonight he was sent to bed early. The guys got a good laugh out of it so it was worth it… Mum, Dad, and Steven were in today for a short visit. On the way back I got thoroughly strip searched by Brendon, who we suspect of being a faggot. I put in a complaint about this … Nelly jumped ship today, went to the left unit. He wanted out of the spring bide ‘cause they took all our extra mattresses, pillows and clothes today. I managed to hang onto my second pillow, luckily. And its now only four days till my hearing…..
I haven’t been writing the past few days because my light has been out since Friday and I couldn’t get it fixed till today, Monday. Just 2 philips screws but it couldn’t be done on the weekend. I got a lot of time outside on the weekend, four hours a day. It was really hot out.
Today I had my parole hearing and I was successful, to everyones surprise. [Guard 2] was even betting against me. I think all the guards were shocked. Verna put in a good word for me, it looks like they want me out of here. It didn’t look to me like I was going to get it. Dave Faithful put in a bad review of the drug program (“questionable motivation”) and they really focused on that. But I guess that I gave the right answers cause I’m a-getting out on August 2. It’s been a long time coming but I can see the end now. Jimmy and I talked in church tonight. He’s going to set me up good, as soon as I’m out. He expects to get five years now. If I stick around for the winter I should be able to amass a pile of cash …
Charlene M. is in here. We’ve been talking to her at the A.A. Meetings. I always thought she was kinda scummy but she is alright, nice to talk to. I might be able to set her up this summer too, and her friends. Lots of opportunity out there. If they hadn’t put me in jail, I might have gone straight!
The fact that I’m getting out soon is starting to sink in, I’m getting a wee bit excited. Its been a long time since I’ve been free and there’s so much out there to see and do … only 36 more meals … it looks like all the staff (and inmates) are shocked that I got parole. I caused a lot of shit in here and I think they just wanted me out … mum and dad and the kids were in this evening for the barbeque. [Valerie] was really happy as usual. Her and Steven get along well. Maybe we should have had more kids. [Pauline] couldn’t get in. I was disappointed about that. I think she really wanted to come in too …
Jeff drew a picture of the kids for me. He did a really good job. He could make money as an artist. Jimmy is going to be going away for sure now. They have new evidence that his friends house was bugged. He expects to get five years, should be out in ten months though. He’s offered to set me up with his connections. I think that’s an offer I can’t refuse. I’m very nervous about him making phone calls from here though. But I’ll make a lot of money if I can get it all worked out. I’ll just have to be extra careful…. I won’t miss this jail but I think I will miss some of the guys. It hasn’t been that bad here. It wouldn’t have bothered me too much if my parole had been turned down.
This afternoon John and I were going out to the bullpen with our blankets to lay in the sun. Gordie asked us if we were allowed to take the blankets outside – we’ve been doing it for two weeks and it has never been mentioned before. While we were out they had a meeting and decided that blankets are no longer allowed outside. Just another senseless decision to show how fucked up this place is.
Its been pretty much an uneventful day. No conflicts or quarrels with the staff. Leroy MacDonald was in to speak at the AA meeting. He was a good speaker, most of them suck but once in a while you get a good one. I put up a nine month chip for myself and a five year chip (63 months) for Zeke. Just eleven more sleeps and thirty three more meals left to go.
Mike got home today. I wish I was out so he wouldn’t have to come see me in here. But it’s not to be ….. We’ve been out walking every day for the past week but I seem to be getting fatter. I’d like to lose ten or fifteen pounds. I’m 186 now and I’m scared I won’t be able to fit into my jeans. I must try harder to lose weight. Must stop eating junk food ….
Dennis got caught sending a note to the girls and lost four good days, a fairly stiff punishment, I’d say. There is no standard punishment it seems. They just make up policy as they go along, figuring out how they can fuck around with our heads …
I’ve been thinking that I might move to Moncton for the winter. It’s not too far from home and I could take over some of Jim’s business. I’m not confident that I’d last very long on the island. There’s now just nine days left maybe less till I go to Summerside. I’m trying to take it one day at a time and done with it. When I first applied for it, I never thought that it would be this late in coming …
And another weekend has come to an end. They seem to go by quickly. I guess because of all the time we got outside. Larry, Dennis and Gene got sent to the hole, caught smoking hash. I’m not sure if they will be coming back here or to max. Will find out tomorrow …
I’ve been watching Woodstock on tv all weekend. Today, I saw a girl I met in Guelph, Shannon, in the audience. Wish I was there, too. The concert in Shediac is also going on this weekend. Wonder who went from Souris.
Mike got home Friday. I thought he’d be in to visit today, but he wasn’t. Surely he’ll be in Thursday … I spoke at the AA Meeting tonight. I went on for 45 minutes but they all seemed to enjoy it. I did sort of want to speak sometime and tonight I did it. I wasn’t even really nervous. I used to be a much more nervous guy than I am and I had a good talk with John afterwards. I hope that some of the guys did get something interesting out of my story. John tells me that he did, so that’s good. Anyway, tomorrow, I start my last week in this place.
Was a rainy day. We didn’t get outside this afternoon. I decided to start a diet today ‘cause I’m fat. I had 3 pancakes for breakfast ‘cause I like pancakes but just a piece of pie for lunch and a piece of cake for supper. If I keep this up for a week and walk around the track every evening I should lose some weight. Or else I may not fit into my pants when I leave. I’m trying not to think too much about getting out, just taking it one day at a time. But it’s only 6 more days and this time it’s for real. Larry is also getting move to Summerside this week. It should be alright up there. Jimmy and I got things set up in church tonight. It’s looking good. He’s going to Springhill next week for five years, but he expects to be out in eleven months. The girls were in church tonight too. I wouldn’t mind hooking up with one of them when they get out. They all seem to like me. I’m an adorable guy …
John told me today that they held the last unit rep without max, me, being there. Bastards. They’ll be wishing they hadn’t fucked around with me so much after I get to the papers. John is pissed off that they don’t give us enough time to talk after the meetings. He has a good point. They just don’t seem to have a clue about rehabilitation around here. If I had gotten to Summerside a few weeks ago, I probably would have gotten out see Mike ….
I gave Wayne a call to tell him I’m getting out. I look forward to hanging out with him again. He wants to go to a wedding in Hamilton in August. I told him I would drive him up if possible, if I can get my car going and get permission from parole. That would be a much needed adventure.
Finally had my meeting with [Supervisor] and Kevin. It was a total waste of time. Kevin lied and what I said didn’t matter. It was a farce, as I expected. I just wanted the opportunity to piss Kevin off. He’s a suck up asshole … I almost got into a fight with Wayne M. this morning. I took the five thirty phone slot yesterday and he thinks that only he can have that spot. I gave him a shove and told him off. But, I think we’re ok now. He was talking pleasantly to me after supper. But it seems he’s been jealous ever since I got my parole. I earned it ….
I walked three miles this evening. I really want to get rid of all this fat before I go home … I’m not sure when I’m going to Summerside. I thought it was Sunday but it may be sooner. I hope to find out tomorrow. [Terrence] is in the hole for yelling at Gordie and Steve moved to the center unit, so its quieter in here. I like it this way, with only four of us here. We all played a couple of games of scrabble this evening, I won. Reuben got out today. I don’t think it will be long before he gets busted again. I just hope Jimmy has enough sense to break things off with him. So anyway we only got five days left here now, only fifteen more meals.
I was in a bit of a panic this morning. They told me at eleven that I was going to Summerside in an hour. I wasn’t expecting that and wasn’t ready to go because Mike should be here tomorrow. It seemed like they were anxious to get rid of me …. Louis Burke was here with my parole papers. It seems that I have to go back to jail at five o’clock and stay there all weekend. This is disappointing. But there’s a possibility that I may be able to cancel my parole in Oct., no parole, no strings attached. It would be great if I can pull that off. Manipulation at its finest ….
I was at my last AA Meeting tonight. There was some guys from the Souris area in. Leroy was there for the second time in a week. He seems like a pretty good guy. Charlene is out Friday. I’m going to give her a call after I get out. I was hoping to talk to Sherry after the meeting but I got tied up. She’s a very pretty guard and I think maybe she likes me, finds me adorable. But it wasn’t meant to be I guess. I’ve now only got four days left, four more sleeps, twelve more meals.
Mike was here today. I would have liked to see him in a different setting but I have no choice in that. It was good to see him anyway …. I got strip searched again by Brendon the fag again. That’s really pissing me off. Last week I put in a complaint that I was uncomfortable being strip searched by a homosexual guard. I hear he was pretty upset by that but his searches are slightly less thorough now, although still unnecessary. I’ll try and straighten that out through the media soon …
Jody got sentenced to thirteen months today. It’s too bad ‘cause she’s a nice girl. Such a waste of her life. It’s too bad she got involved with George Murphy. Charlene is out tomorrow. Adam got 3 ½ years today for his armed robbery, possible that there will be further charges over Jessie’s death. She was well liked around here too.
I suggested to John that we go to Cuba when we get out. He’s keen on that idea. I’m sure we’d have a blast down there. John and some of the other guys I’ve met in here have had a positive effect on my life. It’s for that reason that I don’t regret coming here. If I had no family outside I would not mind staying here to finish my sentence, its only four more months. Right now it’s only 3 days till I go to Summerside.
This seemed like a long day. I do want to get away from here for a while. It’s time for a change. But I think it would be a good idea to come back here to finish my parole. Tomorrow will be my last full day here and I don’t expect to get a good nights sleep because the guys will want to torture me.
My last day here has finally come. I’ll be leaving with mixed feelings. It’s good that I’m moving ahead but then it hardly seems worth taking parole after I’ve already served nine of thirteen months and the parole will go on for eleven months. I will have to put a lot of thought into this before I accept full parole. My time here hasn’t been unpleasant. I’ve met a lot of good guys , though I’ve nothing good to say about the administration. Hopefully, my story will come out in the papers.