| Article Index |
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| 1999 Jail Diary #1 |
| February |
| March |
| May |
| June |
| August |
| September |
| November |
| December |
| All Pages |
I moved to minimum today and I don’t like it here. There’s a couple of guys here I know, Rob and Jason, but the rest seem to be mostly a bunch of misfits and old men. I’m in a room with 3 bunks. I’m the only one here and I’ll be pissed off if they put someone else in here. I’m wishing I had went to medium. I expect that the days are going to seem very long here, very long indeed.
We get up an hour earlier for breakfast so the [day] will be an hour longer. But I’ll give it a few weeks and see if I can find something positive about it. If not, there are ways to get back to Max … although none of them look good on a parole application. As for parole, I’m going to put in my application and see what happens.Tomorrow I’m going to use the computers for the first time. Hopefully there’s something I can learn and keep myself busy while in this place.
2nd day in minimum ok. Was able to use computer this morning. Should be able to learn something while I’m here, pass the time away. I’m taking addiction course which is going ok. Moe’s in it with me. Ambrose came to see me today. I sort of wish he hadn’t because he was very negative; trying to make me feel guilty, ashamed, etc. …
I moved into a single room today. Rob arranged it for me and he also made my bed although he doesn’t want that to appear in print so he says.
I called Art tonight. He’s very busy working on plans for a boat. Says he will be in to visit soon. I think it’s ok with him if I use him for a job reference on my parole application, which I hope to submit tomorrow.
Well, Rob got sent to the hole today. Seems he came after Jerry G. with a crib board. Robs gotta learn to control his temper. I expect that he’ll be sent to max after he gets out so I may not see him again in here. He’s expecting to get paroled next wee – I don’t know if or how this incident would affect that.
I was working on the computer today but I didn’t get much time cuz Susan had to go to town. I enjoy working on them though, hope I can learn something while I’m in here. I was going to put in my parole today but Nancy, my case worker doesn’t think it’s a good idea. She thinks I should wait till Wayne Clark comes again. I’m not sure what to do. Maybe, I’ll get to see Brian S. tomorrow and get some answers.
Should be getting a visit tomorrow – hope they have something good to say – don’t need any more lectures, negative comments, etc. No, don’t think I need anything at all. All in all it’s just another brick in the wall …
Forgot to write anything yesterday. So bored I slept all day. The days can be so long in here. Nothing much happened yesterday. Mum and dad came to visit that’s about it.
I don’t look forward to the weekend. There’s nothing to do here. Not very many guys I want to hang out with. I saw “cracks” over in the other unit, here for the weekend. I’d like to talk to him but we’re not allowed to associate with the weekenders, we don’t even eat at the same time. I find minimum to be just as strict as max, always locked in, tv off at eleven. It’s supposed to be more lenient in here. Joyce (guard) is getting on our nerves. She’s always in the unit playing cards, telling us we are too loud, etc. I might talk to Elsie about it, but I don’t want to be labeled as a troublemaker here too.
Finished first week of alcohol course. Kind of boring at times but I got through it, need it for parole. I’ve applied to Summerside treatment centre now. Hopefully, they will accept me so I can get on with the parole. A bunch of guys got parole this week (Noel, Jerry, Gill, Dean, Rob (I think he’s still in the hole), Doug MacKinnon). I should have been one of them except for all this bullshit with Charlottetown Detox. Wayne C., I now believe, is an asshole. Looks like I will be here for at least three more months.
What a long fucking boring day this was. There’s too many in our unit but not enough to talk to. There’s a few of them leaving next week and maybe somebody new and interesting will move in.
I did some writing today, 5 pages, I figure if I could write 500, I’d have a book but what would I fill 500 pages with? Although these five came out pretty easy.
Got a call through to Anne today. Said she’d be out for a visit tomorrow night. I think I’m in a craving.
Heard some news tonight that might be good news. The next parole hearing is in April. If I get my shit together in time I should be out by May. But if not, the next hearing isn’t until July.
No visitors again today. Nobody showed up. [Janine] was supposed to bring in Steven and [Valerie]. I guess she’s playing some sort of head game. I just don’t understand. Anne didn’t show either. I guess I’m not surprised but I was hoping. I’m only 10 minutes out of Charlottetown, but I may as well be on another planet.
Leonard and Trevor were at the AA meeting. Trevor spoke. Good to see him. Too bad some of the others didn’t come out too. I guess I’m out of the picture – pretty much forgotten. Just glad the weekend is finally over. Hope next week is better.
Fucked up the computer this morning. Nothing too serious. I deleted the File Manager icon and nobody knows how to get it back. “New” computers coming tomorrow so whoever sets them up should know what to do.
Heard today that there’s some pills coming in. I’m feeling kinda uncomfortable about this. I want to get high but I don’t want to get caught, of course. My parole is at risk. I’m considering refusing a piss test but I don’t know what the consequences of that would be.
Drug course still boring but I’m getting through it. Went to church tonight. Ron Y. was there and told me he’d try to bring some books to the library for me. I’m glad I went if only for that. Got to see Tyler, John, and Rob there. Rob lost his parole over the crib board incident. I suppose it didn’t look good since he had just completed an Anger Management course. His new release date is one day before mine. I imagine we’ll be getting all fucked up then. And I look forward to it.
Not much of a day. Totally fucking boring. I gotta get outa here. Heard that Art and Cindy had a boy, so I am an uncle again.
I came up with an idea so they’ll give me a piss test. I got Doug to write an anonymous note saying that he thinks I’m using drugs. And tomorrow, I’ll slip it out by the office. Hope it works. I’ll have a fun weekend if it does.
I was kinda sick yesterday, some sort of flu I guess, but it’s better today. Although by times, I’m very sick of this place. At night, I don’t mind it here but the evenings and sometimes the afternoons are so long.
I’m an uncle again. Art and Cindy had their kid Monday. They called him Alexander Vitalus, a good MacDonald name. I’d like it if [Janine] would bring my own kids in. Somehow I think maybe she would be happy if [Valerie] didn’t even know me when I got out of here. I don’t understand at all why she’s like that.
I was hoping to get a piss test this morning but it didn’t happen. Now my weekend is fucked up cause I can’t get fucked up.
We got five more people in here today. It was just getting cleared out to a comfortable level and now it’s full again. I regret coming to minimum. Leonard spoke at the meeting last night. His story was very interesting. I liked hearing it.
Tomorrow I think they’re coming in to fix my window. That should be a pain in the arse. I hope it’s not in the morning. And another long weekend begins tomorrow. Tonight I pray that I have a piss test tomorrow morning.
Anne called today, from Ontario. She’s not mad at me. I’m surprised her call got through but I was very glad to hear from her. She’s gonna help me get settled in Ontario as I had hoped. Expecting a call again on Monday which I look forward to.
Finished drug program today. Got a diploma.
Dan noted on my evaluation form that I needed further treatment for addiction / mental health. He thinks I’m crazy, they all think I’m crazy.
Nobody understands me. Poor me ...
... Jennifer was working tonight – always nice to see here. She and I would make cute babies. I wish she would replace the old hag, [nurse1].
Got a Valentines card from [Valerie] today. She should be in to see me on Sunday. I miss her. She’s so cute.
Guy who was supposed to bring in drugs didn’t. I think I’m a curse to anyone who tries to bring stuff in. The plans always seem to go wrong when I’m involved. I’m disappointed but I’m also relieved cause I didn’t get a piss test yet. I’ll be really pissed off if I do get one this weekend though. But I won’t be surprised.
Overall things went well today. It looks like I can begin to make plans for parole to Ontario. That’s what I want so bad. If it doesn’t work out, I will be sad.
Valentine’s Day, but it’s not all romantic in this place. I did get my visit today. Went okay, [Valerie] is a bit shy of me, which makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I find it hard to relax in the visiting room because the guard sits there and stares at us. I was hoping my mother could bring me some computer books, but not it seems that not even that is allowed. Oh, to be free again. This has been such a long week; I thought it would never end.
I think tomorrow, I shall ask for a transfer to medium [security]. I hear that there is hardly anyone there. Lots of room for me. I’m hoping that this coming week, the guy from Summerside Detox will see me and accept me and I can get the parole papers in.
This place is driving foolish. We got three more in here today, so there’s 15 now. It’s way too crowded. We got 2 good guys in though. John M. came in this afternoon. He’s just got here for the rest of the week. He may be able to help us get some pills in. And Crocks came in tonight. He’s spending nights here until he finishes his day parole in a couple of weeks. I’m hoping he’ll get some news on my car tomorrow.
I wanted to go to church tonight to see John, Tyler and Rob, but we had an incident. A new guy dropped a gram down the sink, so somebody beat the pipe off with the crib board and there was water all over the bathroom. Joey got in an argument with the guard and got sent to the hole. I tried to get sent there too (we must back each other up) first by slamming the door and then by asking to be sent there but they wouldn’t do it. But it may help me to get a transfer out of here, if they see that I’m getting stressed. Susan wasn’t in today, so I couldn’t use the computers which made for a long day. I hardly ever get to use them anyway. There doesn’t seem to be any benefit to me being in minimum [security]. The days seem twice as long since I came in here. Tonight I’ll pray to my higher power that I’ll get a piss test tomorrow.
Looks like I can’t get on the computer ‘til at least Friday now. It seems that there’s no use trying to do anything in here. They just want me to sit around and watch TV. I asked about taking a course at Hall and College and a trip to UPEI library, but both ideas were shot down. I think though that I may be successful in my request to go to medium [security]. Might find out tomorrow.
I can’t hack it in here much longer. Too many people to watch TV and nothing else to do. I didn’t mind jail ‘til I came down here. Gotta get out, gotta get away. If I stay too long, I’ll go insane.
I heard today that they will speed up your parole if you have a bed at the treatment centre, so I hope the Summerside guy shows up and takes me. so much waiting. It could drive me insane. Haven’t heard anything from Anne yet this week. I guess she couldn’t get her call through.
More waiting. John got sentenced to two less [2 years less a day] so I’ll be seeing him around. Perhaps we’ll meet up in medium [security]. I hope to be in there by Monday. This unit is way too overcrowded. I hardly watch any TV cause there’s a few guys who only want to watch movies, doesn’t matter if the movie is any good as long as it’s a movie. Infidels.
This has gotta be my last day in the unit or I’m gonna lose control. I sleep just to get away from everybody. I slept so much today that I’ll probably be up all night. I’ll ask again for a transfer and if I’m not moved tomorrow, then I’ll be going to max via the hole.
Got moved to medium this afternoon. I’m back in the centre unit with John M., David W. and Dwayne M. John gets out tomorrow, so they’re only to be the three of us. It’s so much quieter here, so much better. I know all the guys here, so everything should be fine. I know just about everybody in this place. They all seem to like me. I’m a likeable guy.
Yeah, so the weekend is here, I’m gonna relax, gets lots of sleep and the time is going to go by a lot better. Eventually, I’ll get out and everything will work out fine, just fine.
Everything’s all right in this unit – lots of peace and quiet. Although I would like to see John and some of the other guys move in. But for now it’s a lot better than minimum. I’ve been doing a lot of reading since I got here (Kuko ??). Art was here today. I asked him to do me a favor, but I’m not really counting on him. He’s not that reliable. At least he came to visit anyway.
Goodwill group was here for AA tonight (Frankie and Alan). Short meeting – just the way I like ‘em. I read the promises backwords 12-1 just to be different. I expect that soon I’ll be Secretary or Chairman. Sounds a little bit interesting. Hope I can make some progress on my parole application this week I gotta get outta here.
February will soon be over. I hope this week is the week when I finally can submit my parole. If I can get accepted by the treatment centre, I should be out sometime in May. I was able to ask [Counselor] to call the treatment centre in Waterloo today. Hopefully she will have some good or at least promising info for me tomorrow. I think that perhaps I will write letters to some centres in Ontario. What have I got to lose.
[Guard1], the asshole, is back to work here now. So far, we’re staying out of each others’ way. Saw the guys from max [security] in church tonight. John, Rob and Genie are moving down here so things are looking up for later this week. Also a hint of some drugs soon. The longer I stay here, the more I see that I liked my old way of life, the more I’m losing interest in sobriety and all the bullshit associated with it. There is some temptation to say “Fuck the piss tests” and just do my time and see what happens when I get out. Although I would to carry out my plan to move to Ontario, I hope I’m not just wasting my time trying to work it out from within this place. Time will tell ….
Got news from Waterloo (via [Counselor]). It looks like I could get in, but I would have to go to Ontario to find out, so that isn’t much good for parole. So I called Freddie and asked him to look up some addresses on the internet on the internet. He said he would, but he didn’t seem very interested in talking to me. I wonder what’s up his ass. [Counselor] seems reasonable to deal with. I’ll see how she really is when I question her about the book policy and the eyeglass policy. They should be able to pay for glasses for me if they can afford to pay thousands for the new desks they just received here.
I have a bunch of phone calls to make, but I didn’t get anything done the past 2 days cause [Guard1] is working and I don’t want to ask him for anything. I’m getting anxious about the interview for the detox which I’m expecting and hoping for this week. I was planning to tell off Wayne C., but now I think it might be best just to play along. Sometimes you just have to play the game.
Today I put in a request to talk to Verna about the book policy with an implied threat that I might write letters to the government. I was questioned about by Sharkey who then passed it on to [Counselor], whom I have yet to hear from. This time I’m not giving up until I get my books.
I also had a minor argument with the nurse about getting glasses. I expect that either the jail or welfare should pay for them since I am a ward of the government but, of course, she disagrees. Bitch. I’ll pursue this matter with [Counselor].
And I wrote to Anne. I hope my letter will prompt her to write back. I’d really like to hear from her again.
Gerard??? is out of province for 2 weeks, so there’s no hope of getting the parole until he gets back. I fear that it’s getting late for the April hearing. The next won’t be ‘till July.
Arrangements made to get drugs in on the weekend. Hope all goes well. Relief from boredom needed.
AA tonight – rather boring, but had some laughs with Dwayne. Next meeting I will be Chairman or Secretary. I wrote a letter to the Nova Scotia Minister of Justice for David (he asked for help) about getting transferred to Halifax jail. He was pleased with the letter; I think that I write a good letter. This talent may be of use to me in the future.
And I heard from Holland Cottage that I’m scheduled for an interview next month, so I will be getting out for a few hours at least. Well, the guys are watching porno on the French channel – think I’ll join them.
Its been a pleasant day here for me. I got called out to the office to talk to [Counselor] about the book policy and the eye thing. I didn’t really get anywhere, but I had fun arguing with her. She got all flustered and angry at me. I won’t be getting any favors from her in the future, but it was all the worthwile just to see her react like she did.
So we started another letter writing campaign today. I wrote to the Nurses Union, Mildred D., Pat M., the Human Rights Commission, and the Director of Corrections and tomorrow I plan to write to the Minister of Justice and possibly Education. I enjoy getting things stirred. The policies I’m arguing against are illogical and I feel I have nothing to lose by complaining. Now I can sit back and wait for results.
My mother was here today too, unexpected. She’s going to Toronto next week and we asked her to call some treatment centres and also to call Anne. I hope she’ll return with some useful information maybe things are going to work out after all. Yeah. I should be getting an interview with both Ch’town and Summerside detoxes tomorrow as it is the last working day of the month. By the end of next week I should have a good understanding of what my options are.
Looking forward to a quiet peaceful weekend here with a remote possibility of some drugs.
R. MacDonald
Box 2710
Ch’town, PEI
C1A 8C3Feb. 25, 1999
Dear Sir/Madam:
I am an inmate of the Provincial Correctional Center and I would like to bring to your attention an incident, or series of incidents involving myself and the nurse, xxx.
I am serving a sentence of two years less a day for a drug offence. I am recovering from an extended period of drug addiction and have been diagnosed, by Dr. Marjorie Smith, with clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I have been prescribed Paxil, Busparone, Inderol and Atarax to be taken daily until, as I understand it, it is determined by Dr. Smith that they be discontinued.
On Jan. 3, I was put in solitary confinement for a period of two days. I felt that, under the circumstances, this punishment was not justified. As a form of protest, I refused to take my medication until I was released. I was asked to sign a paper confirming that I had refused my medication, which I signed fearing that refusing to do so would lead to further confinement or loss of privileges.
After my release, I asked that my medication be given to me (on Jan. 6). I was told that this would not be allowed until the doctor (Dr. Lantz) was able to see me for a re-diagnosis (?). Ten days later. During this ten day period, I noticed the return of my symptoms of my illness. I expressed my concern about this to Nurse xxx and other staff members but was told that there was nothing that could or would be done for me.
On Jan. 13, I spoke with Nurse xxx and was told that because I had signed the paper, she was entitled to withhold my medication. I disagreed, on the basis that when I was asked to sign the paper, I was not made aware that there would be such consequences. I fully expected to receive my medication upon my release from confinement. (During our conversation it seemed obvious to me that she more concerned with possible liability toward herself than with my well-being).
During the period that I was denied my medication I contacted my lawyer, Thane M,, to see if he could assist me in this matter. He related to me that he was told by the nurse here that the reason I was not receiving my medication was because I had refused to give a urine sample. This was completely false. I had not been asked for a urine sample in the weeks preceeding this incident.
Furthermore when I have been asked for a sample, I have always complied. When I was able to see Dr. Lantz the following week he stated to me that he had been told that I had tested positive for drugs. This too was false. I had given a sample the day before my appointment with Dr. Lantz. At the time of the appointment, I believe that the results had not come back yet (it was negative) and Nurse xxx told him that it was positive, hoping and expecting that it would be positive. This disturbs me because I have been involved in treatment for my addiction throughout the past year and I resent the implication, the spreading of false information by a medical professional, that I am again using drugs. Considering my past, this would be very easy to believe but it was a lie.
I feel that Nurse xxx’s behavior was although possibly legal, highly unethical,. I believe she operated outside of her boundaries as a health care professional and I find her attitude of professional arrogance to be quite disturbing.
I have been unable to access information regarding the policies and regulations of the jail regarding the rights of the inmate and obligations of the medical staff but I strongly suspect that my rights have been violated.
I feel it would be appropriate if some sort of disciplinary action were to be taken against Nurse xx to prevent a re-occurrence of this sort of incident in the future.
I would also like to make you aware of the fact on most evenings and weekends our medication is given out by guards. This seems … inappropriate. I wonder if we are supposed to accept a lower standard of health care because we are “just prisoners”. The part time nurses (Jennifer and Sherri) are helpful and pleasant to deal with bu I question whether Nurse xxx’s behavior would be acceptable in any other health care setting. Thanks for your time.
Sincerely,
Reg MacDonald
Pills didn’t show up, but things went well today. Paul M. from Summerside detox (good guy) came to interview me and will accept me as soon as a bed is available. This is the news I’ve been waiting for. Now my parole application can be resubmitted. As Paul said, unlike Ch’town, punishment is not part of their treatment philosophy. That’s the right kind of attitude to beat this disease. Wayne C. is indeed a prick and I look forward to telling him so if he comes back to see me. I’ve always heard he was a prick. I gave him a chance, but if everybody is saying you’re a prick, then you probably are a prick. And he is a prick. I think that things are really going to start coming together for me over the next few weeks. Maybe I should try and stay off drugs for awhile. I’d really hate to fuck things up again.
I’m getting to feel comfortably in our unit now. Dwayne and Dave are ok, easy to get along with, guys in the other units are alright too. This evening I won the Crib Tournament, six straight wins – prize: one bag of Skittles.
I’ve decided to get political. I’m disgusted about the huge sums of money being spent here on unneeded desks, filing cabinets, chairs, shelving, etc. (probably $20,000+) when we are so obviously in need of books in the library, and they say the can’t afford to give us French fries for meals.
I hope to be able to contact a member of the opposition and get things stirred up. So tonight I go to bed happy that I can finally see a way out. Optimism keeps me going, eventually things will work out fine. It just takes time.
Not much going on here. Time’s go by slowly. I advanced ahead one round in the Crib Doubles (with Abby) and in pool. Found a collection of Far Side cartoons, which I always enjoy.
Tomorrow is the end of the month and exactly four months since I came in. I expect that I’m well past my halfway mark if everything works out for parole.
Reg makes a silly request (many more to follow - although he may have been in jail, he was having some good fun)
It’s the last day of the month. This month seemed to go by alright, a bit slow at first but things picked up.
Nobody came to visit today, but I wasn’t expecting anyone anyway. We lost the Doubles Crib Tournament today I played Abby and I smoked him (45+) in the second game. It was very enjoyable cause he is such a poor loser. I hope I can finish him off tomorrow and bring home the Skittles.
Tonight I was the Secretary at AA, which went all right. Next time I’ll be Chairman. I’m taking control. Ha ha ha ha. Tomorrow I intend to piss off [Counselor] just for fun and get my parole plans written out, so I can submit them this week. It’s reasonable to expect that next month will be my last month in this place. Tomorrow, I’m supposed to start working out, see if I can loose some weight, get in shape. It seems that I’m getting a wee bit fat. Ah tomorrow …